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Western Carolinian Volume 46 (Number 25), April 1, 1982

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  • April 1, 1982/ Briefs After the news hit Cullowhee that this year's editor of the Western Carolinian would not seek reelection, Sports Information Director Steve "Whitey" White announced today that he will run for editor of the 1982-83 newspaper staff. In an exclusive interview just prior to press time White told reporters that the editor position looked "very attractive," and it would give him a chance to "gain more experience in WCU newsreporting. The field house is just getting too cramped down here, and since I was refused a new office in the Regional Activities Center, I decided a move was in order," said the former director of sporting news at WCU. "I 've always envied the boys at the school paper, and I think it's time I got a more exciting piece of the action." White said he was not fired from his job, and that rumors of the Gymnastics team and girls Basketball team petitioning to the Chancellor for his resignation were "not true as far as I know. I'm just wanting to get out of the kitchen for a while," said White. White continued that if elected, he would repay women's athletics for all the times there was no sports coverage of them, and that he would work "harder than a copying machine" to get more done as far as WCU news goes. Although not confirmed, it is believed that White will appoint long time co-worker Jim Rowell of the Public Information Office as the associate editor of the paper. The city of Sylva announced yesterday it would honor students by declaring a Student Day. The activities planned to go along with this new honor are to be a parade, a carnival and a special ceremony in which two students will be hung. In a recent survey conducted by the physics department at Western Carolina University, 83' those surveyed said that a penny would probably fall faster than a leather if dropped from heights of 60 feet or more. A staggering 92'',' of those surveyed felt a ton ol brickes weighed much more than a ton of feathers. And 68% asked what feathers and physics had in common. The Mountain Heritage Center, which housed the University Administration, was slightly damaged in the aftereffect of a violent windstorm last night. The storm triggered a bizzare chain - reaction which began when the foundation of Scott crumbled under pressure from the wildly swaying building and toppled it to the right. Scott went crashing into Walker, which in turn fell in the general direction of the MHC. Several bricks and bodies from the tumbling building crashed into the side of the MHC, and a typewriter was destroyed by a portable refrigerator, "lt wasn't that bad a tragedy," stated an unnamed source from the registrar's office. "The typewriter will be fixed in a week, and we are anticipating registration to go much smoother since half the freshman class was wiped out." *************** University Administrators announced today that the mysterious substance on the ceiling of Brown was not abestos after all, but highly radioactive Strontium-90. "Anybody can make a mistake," said Physical Plant head Bruce Miller, "but I guess that this one will be a little harder to explain than most of our other usual foul-ups." Miller went on to explain that most of the students who have eaten in Brown will "probably kick the bucket before 1984." "Suicide" Jim Buchanan Editor in Chief Tim "Lacoste" Thompson Business Manager "Mumbles" McCausland Designer (after 10:00 pm only) Doug Nerwin News Editor Hairy Hardin Associate Editor Ted "Rona" Randolph Sports Editor Doug Snap'emall Photography Editor Lindseed Carter Ad Design Jim Stuart Wanted in Five States Jennifer Passout • Unwanted Kathy McDonald Unloved and Abused Staff Writers Takes too long to type, and I'm not sure who was fired or hired this week. PRODUCTION Usually cute girls, but Gene was fast so we kept him on. PHOTOGS "Mad Dog" McDaniel, Marcus of Arabia, and somebody else's whose name I've forgotten. — *.4.;;;'J.:KWJ~Ji agSSSSSSSSS«^«^SSSSSSSag^AyAyASft«ga First time on any college campus "The Return Of Mr. and Mrs. Potatoe Winner of 15 Academy Awards Come early and meet the famous couple in person! Saturday. April 3 8:00 p.m. Western Carolina's head football coach Robert (Bob) Waters announced his resignation yesterday before a standing room only crowd of 17.000 at E.J. Whitmire Stadium. In a stirring 4 minute speech. Waters told the crowd, "1 hate to leave Cullowhee. It has been my home for many years now. But my work is done here. There are new challenges to be met. When the Colts contacted me for a possible head coaching job, 1 knew it was destiny." The 17,000 fans cheered wildly when Waters concluded his speech by stating, "Goodbye, Cullowhee, this is the last you will see of me for quite a while." Waters has already accepted the head coaching job for the fighting Colts of Walt Whitman High School. Ihe task of replacing Waters will not be an easy one. In his 10-year position as head coach at Western Carolina, Waters has taken the Catamount program from winning to mediocrity. His popularity in the Cullowhee area is amazing. According to one spectator at the Waters Resignation Rally, the name Bob Waters "is as common in the Cullowhee area as busted pipes in the winter. We talks about ol' Mr. Waters all the time." Even though Waters is extremely popular, a replacement must be found. Unconfirmed reports say that Western Carolina is considering both Paul (Bear) Bryant and Don Shula. The Carolinian contacted Bryant and received the following comments: "Western what? Oh. Western Carolina. Yes, I've heard of thefinejob that Rivers fellow has done there...Do what? (Ha, Ha) Be Western's football coach? You've got to be kidding. I'm running for God here at Tuskaloosa, and that's only the start. Listen, it was nice talking with you fellas, but I've got some water to walk on. Thanks for calling." The Carolinian contacted Miami Dolphin football coach, Don Shula, and got a very promising response. Shula said he would sign with Western Carolina. The Carolinian was not able to determine the exact date of the Shula signing, but is currently consulting T.V. 13 staff meteorologist Alex Popadinis to find out exactly when hell is expected to freeze over. ************** UNCLE GEORGES DAY CARE & NURSERY Located in Rm. 218 of the EI RANCHO MOTEL pw.ww.waw«.
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Object’s are ‘parent’ level descriptions to ‘children’ items, (e.g. a book with pages).