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Western Carolinian Volume 60 Number 20

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Item’s are ‘child’ level descriptions to ‘parent’ objects, (e.g. one page of a whole book).

  • I live with a sadistic little girl who likes to torture her dolls, i have this big plastic house with all the wonderments of a real home, but i'm getting mighty thirsty, mighty hungry and mighty horny (ken's lack of a sexual organ is really frustrating, besides i think he's fuckin' with skipper), but everything is smooth, i don't have to pay the light bill (the bulb's already paid for) or rent (mortgage was paid a long time ago with a check made out to K-Mart. those dudes at K-Mart are the best landlords to live with, once they're paid, your house is your own. can't beat it), my house is phat. i got all these clothes, all these shoes, i even got a degree in medicine, business, and fashion design, geez, i didn't tell ya about my rides, smoove mothers, they all in pink and white though, i guess that's the only colors they had. i got a ranch i go to when i feel like getting out of the Plastic City life, i just take a stroll from where i'm from - Bedroom Slipper of Christy - and walk over to Toy Chest of Christy, it's a long trip but i don't need to take- the'Vette out of the garage but on the ranch, man, there's no funk, i mean i got dozens horses but there's no funk, not a stench. Plastic City living... can't beat it. when i get tired of looking at stiff silent horses, Christy decides she wants to go an an international vacation, she dresses me up in my stewardess outfit and i know that we're flying, the trip to Betty Lou's from Across the Street, USA was bumpy, lots of ground turbulance especially when Christy tripped and fell on top of me. i was alright though, i never broke my professionalism, my arms stayed in an upward stance the whole time, regardless of me not having a tray. Betty Lou is a cool spot, i spot my tropical friends (who look a lot like my hometown buddies except they're a lot darker in this country) and we get together for the sand and surf at the pool on a place called Bathtub Beach. Christy takes off my working clothes so i can relax then pulls out my big pink travelcase so i can decide which bathing suit i wanna wear, i pick a dark one with pink and white stripes. Christy insists i put this big plastic flower in my hair so I can fit in with everybody else, but me and Christy know better, i'm not off-brand like they are, my name's on their boxes - haha. we stay there for a long time until Christy gets a message from Plastic City about some big luncheon she has to attend at six o'clock and she can't miss it. it's so important that Christy doesn't even change my clothes — not that i don't mind or anything, with tits that always salute the sun and a perfect waist, who needs to be bashful? but while Christy was grubbing, she put me back in the big house with plates, tiny forks and spoons but no damn food, i mean, she comes back to Bedroom Slipper smelling like chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy and shit and she takes me out my empty crib and forces me to try to drink from a huge plastic cup with Holly Hobby (Hobbitt, whatever) on the front, i try to motion for her to get my bed and nightcap cuz i'm ti'ed as a motha, but she don't, instead, the little bitch takes me over to undiscovered territory and pulls out these big silver things and poof! my hair is gone, like that. then she takes my arms and legs and pulls 'em out the socket, i look at 'em on that vast plain full of paints, jewelry and this thing that lets me see what i look like— a white stump with pointy breasts, my arms still waiting to hold that tray and my muscular legs with my arched feet waiting on some Easy Spirits next thing i know i'm down the incinerator, i never knew the reason, but it must have had something to do with that new hideaway that was in Betty Lou's place. yeah, i'm back, back from the Incinerator, the president of Christy's Plastic City pulled me from the wreckage, what? what's the pres' name? some dude called Mom. he's an ok guy, but sometimes he really pisses off his public, yeah, i see Christy comin' in from a congress meeting stomping and ranting, it's Continued on Page 3 Page 2 2/16/95 When does a date become a crime? It happens when a man forces a woman to have sex against her will. And even when it involves college students, it's still considered a criminal offense. A felony. Punishable by prison. So if you want to keep a good time from turning into a bad one, try to keep this in mind. When does a date become a crime? When she says "No". And he refuses to listen. Against her will is against the law. For more information regarding Sexual Assault Issues contact /c# SCAAR (Student Coalition Against Acquaintance Rape) at 227-7303
Object
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Object’s are ‘parent’ level descriptions to ‘children’ items, (e.g. a book with pages).