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Western Carolina University Publications
WCU - Western Carolina University Publications

HL_WesternCarolinian_1973-04-01_Vol38_No46_02

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HL_WesternCarolinian_1973-04-01_Vol38_No46_02
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HL_WesternCarolinian_1973-04-01_Vol38_No46_04
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  • page 2 THE WESTERN CAROLINIAN Tuesday April 1, 1973 Editorial Comment What Type Security? We are concerned about the letter from the young 'etter-to-the-editor writer who felt fear in her young body over the ficl that WCl campu? policemen do not carry firearms of any type. Frankly, other things about the campus cops concern us. We are concerned about the strange smell that seeps from under the door of the campus "security" office at rather unusual hours of the day. It would seem that the average student at WCL should concern himself with the qualifications of the "security men" rather than their armaments. The President of the LLC has informed this office that various members of the security force are under investigation for activities which "are not conducive to an academic community." Praise should be given to the LLU for its untiring investigation into campus life, particularly into those who protect us. Their unceasing efforts to inform and to educate will not be forgotten by us. The report published by the LLU, "Security and What It Means to You," is must reading for all college students who reside on the North American continent. The report will provide manv insights into campus security and has special app*- lication to the Cullowhee cameus of The Universitv of North Carolina. Agreeing with the LLU, we advocate the removal of all members of the campus police and the replacement of them by any ex-servicemen. Pritchard Smith, director of the security force, denies the LLl report. "That's a lot of bullshit," he said, but his eyes were red at the time, and that weird smell was noticeable in his office. U Voice of the Students Toduy's edition of the West sm Carolinian will probably freak a few people out. We hope so, as it took us many hours to put together this collection of bad taste, assorted stupid jokes and out-and-out insubordination. If this were the U.S. Navy, we would be flogged. As this is an institution of higher learning, we will probably just be recipients of a few outraged letters to the editor, and this will be just fine. The idea behind this April Fool's edition is to get some real letters to the editor. We have been writing them ourselves all year long and the staffers are getting tired of it. 99 VfESTFRtf CARDUNJAN Dear Editor, After careful observation of the students at WCU and after prolonged debate with the board of trustees I have decided to conduct a survey during the week of April 2-9 after which I shall then select 20 deserving students who will come to live with me at The Place, Those selected should miet at 10:39 on Monday in front of the UCe They shall then be transferred to the Asheville airport where together we shall board a Piedmont for Paradise. I hope that you will publish this letter so as to let your fellow students know that they should not be alarmed if they hear harps and voices that are not there. No, they are not experiencing the final freak out. It is only I conducting a test for their acceptability. Thank you for your co-operation, you and your staff shall be remembered for your help. Eternally yours, God Dear Editor: It saddens me deeply to see the lack of interest in WCU expressed by the students who live off campus. They are a group of escapists who do not realize that Western can only grow through total student support. This does not mean returning to their homes at the end of the day. It means staying on the campus, and getting involved in the student scene. It also means doing all the studentish things, such as: carrying books, studying (at least pretending to), cursing, hitting your parents for more money, dressing with-it to what ever is, eating in the cafeteria, sitting on the hornie wall, going to the Townhouse, going to the P.O., sometimes goingto class, going to Waynesville, going insane. Surely these students are just afraid to face life as it really is. My advice to them is to break loose and really live. Find out what life in Cullowhee is really like. Many of my friends after living in Cullowhee for onlya short time, have come to appreciate their homes, their childhoodand thfir sanity much more. I have a deep fear that these people who shirk their responsibilities as students at WCU are the future radicals of this proud and glorious land. It is a destiny to templated. be con- Name Withheld by Request * Dear Editor: You have a lot of damn gaul to think we would believe all the garbage in today's Western Carolinian, As a concerned studentof this University, I think the time is well nigh for a return to those iron-clad days of yesteryear when a defenseless young coed could walk the streets of our city in safety. To take a step toward such a day, I am proposing that copies of the Western Carolinian be used to line the walkways of the campus so as to catch and reflect noonlight, thereby making the sidewalks safer and more attractive. Not only would this make things safer for defenseless boys and girls, but it would also remove a campus eyesore (i. e. the student newspaper) from the palsied hands of innocent readers. Yours until the rivers run into the sea, George Ainsley Sally Ainsley U.C. to be Renovated Th* Vi=sm=i^y Qai^Lifwiam Published twice weekly through the academic year and weekly during the summer by the students >f Western Carolina University. Member; Collegiate Press Service, Intercollegiate Service. EDITOR-IN-CHIEF , , BUSINESS MANAGER, Managing Editor. , „ , News Editor , . , „ Staff Writers , Graphic Arts Accountant „ , Layout . . . •Sports Editor Copy Editor . Typists . , Photographers Editor Emeritus Advisor »...,. . BROOKS SANDERS . . MIKE SANDERS ....... Warren Sanders i . . . . , . . Alice Sanders .<••< Ted Sanders, Julia Sanders, Efavid Sanders, Sarah Sanders, Dwight Sanders, Lisa Sanders, Gay Sanders, Luscious Louis Urslyn Sanders Manager . . , .Michael Sanders . ........ Gary W, Sanders . . . . . Terry Sanders . . , . ,.,..,. Hank Sanders . ••....... Phyllis Sanders Elizabeth and Claudia Sanders . . . R„ Paul Sanders, James Sanders, Jim Sanders, Stephen C, Sanders ......... W. Wat Sanders .......... Gerry Sanders Offices, first floor Joyner, phone 293-7267. Mailing address, Box 66, Cullowhee, NC 28723, Subscription rates, S4.00 per year. Due to the lack of student reception, it has been decided that Western Carolina University no longer has a need for a university center. The present university center will be completely renovated in order to meet the pressing need for more classroom and office space, Doug Davis, acting vice- chancellor for student development, announced today, "They just aren't making e- nough money down there," Davis was heard to comment. He added to his discourse by saying that "all those silly fools do is eat goodies, shoot pool and go to the movies all the time," Davis noted that "what this university really needs is something worthwhile and fun, like listening to Andre Koste- lantz piuck his do-wh-do." The present SGA offices will be the first thing to go, Davis saids as more bathroom space will be needed to fill the void. "They never do nothing down in them there offices noway, except bitch at each other, " Davis said. The first and second floors will be renovated to house much needed classroom space. Dr. TaftBotner, dean of the School of Health, Safety, Security, Psychology, and sometimes Education, commented on the situation by raising his hand high in the air and coming out with "we want the second floor, we deserve it, we have been here longer than any other school," Tim Lanier, head of the WCU ambulance service, was immediately called, and he and his assistants hurriedly escorted Botner to Cullowhee General. Botner's last words before vanishing into the back of the waiting van were "you better give me that goddamn floor or you'll never see me again." It was later reported that Botner could be found nowhere around town. Davis said he had no idea as to how the newly formed space will be allocated, but he did note that the present motel rooms will be given to the Health Department, as requested in their bid for more classrooms for the sex-education courses. Goober Pees, head of the department figured that "a few mattresses and a blanket" would be allotted for classroom use. Dr. Jim Hamilton, head of the Physical Education Department has put in a bid for the third floor. "I don't know what all this ruckus is about. Everyone knows that we are desperately in need of more and larger gymnasiums," he stated. He also asked for a new polishing machine to keep those sneakers sparkling. Appointed as the new chairman of the custodial service is Baxter Wood, former director of the A.KB Hinds University Center, Wood said he was sorry to hear that the center was closing down. He did add that he was glad of it on one count though, "Hell, I won't have to play around with those books anymore, but I sure will miss the money." The Building and Grounds Committee has taken the new renovation into account and Chairman Dan Potillo said that the present front lawn will accordingly be suggested as a parking lot, "We have enough trees and bushes around here to last a whole bunch of years. Besides, flowers look silly between sidewalks, " he later stated. Davis hoped that all the renovating work could be done sometime this quarter. He added that there shouldn't be any problem with noise interrupting classes, as the only buildings withing hearing distance are the Killian Education Building and the Forsyth Business Building , "They don't teach anything relevant over there, so we won't be worried about distractions," Davis reported.
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Western Carolina University Publications

The Western Carolinian is Western Carolina University’s student-run newspaper. The paper was published as the Cullowhee Yodel from 1924 to 1931 before changing its name to The Western Carolin...

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