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Western Carolinian Volume 73 Number 01

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  • hl_westerncarolinian_2007-02-21_vol73_no01_07.jpg
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  • Page 7 Western Carolinian Febuary 21, 2007 Whose Busted! Campus police were called to the FPAC following reports of criminal damage to State property, but officers were unable to figure out just what the perpetrator was trying to say An underage female student was arrested for underage possession of alcohols which just goes to prove that women are as per- fectly capable of stupid acts as men are- Just another step forward in the name of gender equality. Things you think are true. but actually aren't: if you buy cheap beer at a drive- through gas station where teenage girls bring liquor straight to your window, you can drink it on your way home. it An unidentified man attempted to break into Norton last weekend. but was repelled by armed guards with attack dogs and_high- tech laser sentry guns- In other news. the third floor of Scott dormitory has been com- pletely consumed by flame and feral cats. but Scott doesn't even have air condition- ing1 so who cares if it sucks: = We all know four-wheeling on the lawn of the FPAC is a good time. but you can't be surprised when officers don't find it as a An intoxicated student accidentally en- tered another student's room next to his own through an open window- This story isn't that incredible until you find out that the window was actually on the third floor. y Sox what? Are you trying to tell me I'm supposed to get out of my car and make sure I haven't run .someone over every time I back up over a huge mound of ice that makes a screaming noise? Give me a break. 3 A hit and run was reported at a nearby Baptist Church parking lot- When reached for comments God said that he was cool with it as long as no one involved was gay- It was kind of an awkward conversation. The lone man shines his badge and se- cures the Velcro strips on his shoes- Tires squeal as the golf cart erupts forth from its parking space. the engine whining loud- ly. a Sign to all those savvy enough to hear it- Saddle up. partner." it says as the man swerves across two lanes of traffic and screeches to a halt beside a car. parked slightly askew of the yellow lines: The man licks his pen and copies down the license number- Another parking ticket has been written- Justice is served- a A plethora of assault cases. underage drinking. drunk driving and emergency room visits as a result of the aforementioned crimes have cropped up inrecent weeks- In other news. be sure to pledge your favorite Sorority/Fraternity ASAP. spots are filling up fast. By: Zach McKeown staff writer
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Object’s are ‘parent’ level descriptions to ‘children’ items, (e.g. a book with pages).