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Western Carolinian Volume 33 Number 18

items 9 of 20 items

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Item 1 - Western Carolinian Volume 33 Number 18

Western Carolinian Volume 33 Number 18

HL_WesternCarolinian_1967-12-12_Vol33_No18_01

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Western Carolinian Volume 33 Number 18

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Western Carolinian Volume 33 Number 18

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Item

Details
- Format
  - Publications (documents)
- Type
  - Text
- Source institution
  - Western Carolina University
- Identifier
  - HL_WesternCarolinian_1967-12-12_Vol33_No18_09
Transcript

1967 Christmas Edition CAROLINIAN OUTLOOK ByDavidWatsm The Great Pumpkin has withdrawn into his sincere pumpkin patch once more (so he won't get trampled by those eight tiny reindeer of the fat, bearded man in the red suit). With the coming of cold weather, and the anticipation by connoisseurs of Turkey Day, there descends upon the populace a plaque—liken to that of a hord of locus--the toy merchants arrive striking fear into the hearts of all adults. They set up their array of walking, talking, wetting dolls, and the miniature war machines with their revival of past wars and hatred between North and South. Each store, in keeping with the spirit of Christmas, must hire some fat imposter to masquerade as Santa and listen hour after hour to children's wishes. The kids just love old Santa and run from store to store gathering suckers and trinkets from him. The cities deck themselves with gay lights and festive decor. And on every street corner you hear silver bells being rung by yet another group of bearded imposters. Down the street from the ringers is the dark uniformed brass band blaring their version of the Christmas theme. These collection groups are strategically located in front of such Christmasy places as the liquor stores, taprooms,movie theaters, and banks. They take up positions so as to block the sidewalks, therefore making it necessary for the already mer- chant-beseiged shopper to dig out a few more coins for the needy kitty. Night comes and the herds of carolers take to the streets. They travel around — singing (mostly off key), and looking forward to getting back home where it's warm. Of course, Christmas is the time for family get-togethers. Everybody piles the kids, with their new toys, into the car and goes off to visit, While at the homeplaee, Grandma and Grandpa are preparing for the seize. All the breakables are put out of reach and the tree is enclosed within a barbed wire ring. Tons of food are placed on a long table with paper plates and plastic forks ready for the hungry mob. Christmas eve rolls around and finds all good little boys and girls snug under their electric blankets waiting for Santa Claus. The office parties are gone and hangovers are here. The toy merchants are counting their ill-gotten booty. The brass bands have hushed because the liquor stores have closed. Street corner Santas are soaking their feet while those from the stores are rub- • bing their knees. The children are the luckiest at Christmas. After weeks of dragging their parents around showing them the goodies Santa is going to bring and dozens of letters to the old man — they finally get their reward on Christmas eve, Christmas is a disgusting time for adults. After trying to pacify the !::ds, they receive the wrong size shirts, gaudy socks, gallons of awful smelling colonge, and 14 pairs of bedroom shoes. Added to this are the egg nog hangovers, the burns from endless cooking, and hundreds of ungrateful relatives with their screaming brats. Oh , won't the masses of unbelievers be shocked to find that Santa Claus is really the Great Pumpkin in disguise. MERRY CHRISTMAS When a citizen got a letter from a politician addressed to "Occupant," and asking for campaign funds, he sent back a nice check —signed: "Occupant," THE WESTERN CAROLINIAN WCU Laundry Presents Winter Fashions This lucky WCU coed has been chosen by the WCU Laundry to present their Winter Quarter fashions. Here are Uie latest in blouses for the active coed. Varsity Shop, look out — Uie laundry ma; begin to set Uie fashion pace. yv Page 9 FRONT VIEW BACK VIEW liar no and his mystery guest extend seasons greetings to the WCU' campus. SKYLAND OLDSMOBILE INC. IN ASHEVILLE Invites, YOU To Join "The Youth Movement" Try A "Cutlass S", Or "4-4-2' Priced As Low As $2715.00 Sports Coup* A Good Man To See Or Call FRANK CHAPPELL But. PL 2621886 Nome 252 6028 On Campus (By the author of "liulli/ Hound the Flag, Boys!", -Dohic GiUu," etc.) with MaxQhulman ITS THE SEASON TO BE JOLLY Yuletide is almost upon us. I>et's stop wasting time in classes and get on with our Christmas shopping. Following are a number of gift suggestions, all easily obtainable at your nearest war surplus boutique. First, a most unusual gift idea, brand new this year and certain to please everyone on your list—a gift certificate from the American Veterinary Medicine Association! Each certificate is accompanied by this charming poem: Merry Chrixt mas, north and south. Does your coir hare hoof and mouth ? And your dog, fidele semper. Here's a rurr for his distemper. Little kitten, rule and squirmy. Briny her in. I think slie's leormy. 71) bunnies, turtles, parrots grt en, Joyen.r Xitel! Heuren.r Vaccine! Are you wondering what In give that extra-special man on your list? Stop wondering. Give him that extra-special shaving combination, Personna Super Stainless Steel Hladcs and Burma Shave. Each gift is accompanied by this charming poem: Christmas merry. New Year bonny. From your friendly blade I'ersonny. You trill hare the ladies fawning. If you're xhai'iiiy with I'lrsaieniny. Injector style or double edyes, liolh are made by i/ood I'liseilyes. Ai'd Bui ma-Share in plain or menthol, Lear-en your face as smooth as rcnthol. i NOTE: As everyone knows, rentlml is the srr ilhest substance ever (lis (•>■"<!. You may Mil know, however, that renlhol is named after its inventor, Ralph Waldo Rentlml, who developed il by crossing a swan with a ball bearing. I (Interestingly enough. Mr. lien!hoi did not start out to be an inventor. Until age 50 he was a Western Union boy. Then fate look a hand. One (lay while delivering a singing telegram to a girl named Claudia Sigafoos, Ralph noted to his surprise that the telegram was signed "Claudia Sigafoos!" She had sent herself a birthday greeting! i When pressed to explain, Claudia told Ralph a heartrending tale. It seems that when she was only six weeks old, her parents were killed in an avalanche. The infant Claudia was found by a pair of kindly carilwiu who raised her as their own. They taught her all they knew-like how to rub bark ofT a tree and which lichens are better than other lichens but in time they saw that this was not enough. When Claudia reached age IK, they entered her in I'.ennington. i Unused to people, Claudia lived a lonely life—so lonely, in fact, that she was reduced to sending herself birthday greetings, as we have seen. I Ralph, deeply touched, married Claudia and tried his best to make her mingle with people. It didn't work. They went nowhere, saw no one, except for an annual Christmas visit to Claudia's foster parents, Buck and Doe. To while away /lis long, lonely hours, Ralph finally built a work bench and started to futz around with inventions, as we have seen. 'It is pleasant to report that the story of Ralph and Claudia ends happily. After the birth of their two children, bonder and Blitzen, Claudia joined the PTA and soon overcame her fear of people. Ralph joined the Elks.) But I digress. Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night! Ho-ho-ho! • • * 01M7. lies Sholaaea The makers of Personna and Burma Shave join Old Max in extending greetings of the season.

Object

Description

The Western Carolinian is Western Carolina University’s student-run newspaper. The paper was published as the Cullowhee Yodel from 1924 to 1931 before changing its name to The Western Carolinian in 1933.
Details
- Creator
  - Western Carolina University
- Format
  - Publications (documents)
- Type
  - Text
- Date
  - Date original: 1967-12-12;
  - Date digitized: 2017-10-26
- Extent
  - Dimension: 15.75" x 11"
  - Pages: 20 pages
- Subject - Topic
- Location
  - Jackson County (N.C.)
  - Cullowhee (N.C.)
- Source institution
  - Western Carolina University
- Source Collection
  - WCU Students Newspapers Collection
- Identifier
  - HL_WesternCarolinian_1967-12-12_Vol33_No18
- Repository
  - Western Carolina University Hunter Library

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