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Western Carolinian Volume 61 Number 07 (08)

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  • invisible academy 10.19.95 "Smoking" Continued from page 9 "Ok," Her hands started shaking. She clasped them together in her lap. "I've been thinking about this for a while, and I want to know what you think about it." He didn't take his eyes off the road. Grace had no response. She sat silent, trying to breathe evenly. Paul took a deep breath. "I want to ask Sharon out. Do you think she'd go?" Grace felt the nails of her right hand dig into the palm of her left. She bit her lip hard to keep from crying out. She turned quickly to the window to hide the tears she knew were coming. "Well? What do you think?" "Ummm...what do I think?" She set her jaw and made an abortive attempt at looking thoughtful. "What do I think." She felt a tear slide down her cheek and quickly looked down. "Well," She took a ragged breath. "If it's what you want to do, I think you should. I'm sure she'd be thrilled." "You really think I should?" "Sure. Look, there's a sign. Flash your lights for them to stop." Grace fought the overwhelming urge to open the door right then, and role out into the darkness. She gripped the door handle. "Sharon can ride back with you." "Ok..." Preston flashed his brights and pulled over. "Grace, thanks Grace?" She was out of the car before he came to a complete stop. * * * Grace sat in the downstairs smoking room at the very back of the library face down in F. Scott and Zelda Fitzgerald: Romantic Egoists. Erica had been "entertaining" in the dorm room when Grace had gotten back. The library was the most deserted place she could find at 11:30 on a Thursday night. She was sobbing on F. Scott's shoulder when she heard the door open. "Fuck." She sat up, wiped her eyes on the sleeve of her father's flannel, and turned the page. She stubbed out the unsmoked Marlboro Light that had burned down to the filter and lit another. She picked up her pen and pretended to take notes. "Grace, what are you doing?" Erica was standing in the doorway. Grace looked up as if caught unawares. "What? Oh, Erica, I didn't hear you come in." She started shuffling papers and turning pages in an effort to look busy. "I'm just uhhh...working on a research paper I forgot about. I have to...turn in an outline tomorrow." She picked up her cigarette and took a deep, stressed out drag. "I thought you were hanging out with Doug." "Dave." "Whatever. I thought you guys were in the room so I came here. What's up?" She hoped her eyes weren't as puffy as they felt. "Paul and Sharon came up to the room looking for you. They said you took off on them or something. I figured if you weren't in the room and you weren't with them, you had to be here." Erica lit a cigarette and pulled up a chair. "Did you tell them?" Grace pictured Paul and Sharon roaming the stacks, hand in hand, in search of their third wheel. "No. I figured if you took off, you probably had a reason." Erica crossed her legs and leaned foreward. "So what's up?" "Nothing. I just have to do this paper." It even sounded weak to Grace. "Bullshit. You don't do homework after five unless there's a gun to your head, especially not when you can go out. So what happened?" Grace stared at the tabletop. "So where's Doug?" "Dave. He's in the room. I told him I'd be back in a minute." "Oh. I see." "What's wrong Grace. You may as well tell me now." "You know how I kinda liked Paul? Well, we were all out, and me and him were in one car, and he..." Her face crumpled. "He told me he was gonna ask Sharon out and asked if I thought she'd go." Her forehead landed back on the book open before her. Her shoulders shook. She felt like a complete fool. "Fuck'em." Erica put out her cigarette and stood up. "What?" Erica looked at her. Her eyes were tiny slits. Her hair was piled loosely on top of her head. She had on a purple and green tye- dyed t-shirt and striped pants. She and whats- his-name had been smoking up in the room again. "I said fuck'em. Who needs him? I've gone out with him. He's a pain in the ass. I don't know why you put up with him as much as you do." She stood with her hand on the doorknob. "I gotta go. Dave's waiting for me. You coming up? We're gonna smoke a bowl." "Not tonight. I think I'm gonna go home." "Why are you getting so upset!?! It's not like there's anything you can do about it." "Oh, that makes me feel loads better. Thanks." Grace slammed the book closed and looked up. "I'm sorry that I'm not tiny and beautiful and can't lead every guy I meet around by the nose. Maybe then I wouldn't be upset if one of them wanted to date someone else. I am not you, however, and I like him alot. It makes me sad that he doesn't feel the same way. Is that ok? Or should I just pick up the shattered peices of my existence and go FUCK the first guy I meet? It always seems to work for you." She stuffed her papers into her back pack, pushed past Erica, and ran out the first door she found. "Damn, what'd I do to deserve that?" Erica shrugged, lit a cigarette and headed back to the room. * * * Grace stood outside her older sister's dorm room. Her sister was very studious. She rarely went out. "Great. Tonight's the one night this decade she decides to paint the town red." Grace knocked again. "Who is it?" An annoyed voice on the other side of the door. "Grace. I need to borrow the truck." The door swung open to reveal Taylor, glasses on. She was wearing an old sweatshirt, boxers, and knee socks. Her curly hair was yanked up into a ponytail on lop of her head. "Are you high? It's midnight! What's wrong now'" "No I'm not. and nothing I just need to go home." "You never need to go home. They had to bribe you to get you there lor Thanksgiving. Now. unless you tell me why you want it and where you1 re go- mg, I'm not going to give you the key " Grace stood with her arms across her chest. "Look, can I come ,n, or are you going to make me beg out here in the hallway " Fine. Come in." Taylor stood aside for Grace to come ,n. "Now what do you wanf" I need to drive around for a while There's rroeor:,0Thmr*°g0 ^^omeonlm the room. The library's closed. I need to think, ok?" Grace bit the inside of her lip and blinked hard. She refused to cry in front of her sister. Taylor raised an eyebrow. "You need to think. You haven't done it all semester, why start now." "I'm having a hard time. 1 need to get off campus and think some stuff out." The tears were close. "A hard time is not a good enough reason to let you go driving off in my truck at 12:15 ona week night. Don't you have class tomorrow?" "Not until 12:30. Come on Taylor, PLEASE! I'll put gas in it." She heard her voice crack. "I'm sorry. I can't. I've got a good parking place and an 8 o'clock class. I can't stay up all night worrying about you falling asleep and driving off of some mountainside in god-knows- where. Now please. Go to your room, and go to bed. I've got to get some sleep." Taylor opened the door and waited. "Fine Taylor. That's really nice of you. Sleep well. Have a nice weekend." Grace stomped out of the apartment and slammed the door behind her. "Fine Taylor." she muttered as she waited for the elevator. "Fuck you." She pulled the extra set of keys she had had made out of her backpack. "Try to be polite and ask nicely, you shoot me down like everybody else. Fuck you and your goddamn 8 o'clock class." She stood in the elevator. "Your truck will be back in its precious reserved parking place by the time you have applied your twelfth coat of makeup and are ready to jog to class. Christ. 1 must be adopted." She walked out of the dorm and straight to her sister's pick-up truck. ( * * She drove all night. At 3 am she stopped at an all-nite Amoco/Taco Bell in Tennessee. A half dozen truckers, lingering over the remains of Big Beef Burritos and trading dirty jokes lookea up when she walked in. One winked. "Hey baby." She made her way to the back corner an sat facing the restaurant. "Stupid," she mutter . yanking the pony tail holder out of her ha. "Dumb, Dumb, Dumb." She sighed and res' her chin on the palms of her hands. "Damn' She was afraid to go back to school. also knew that Taylor would have an all P° bulletin out and a missing persons report file ^ ^ the campus cops if her truck wasn't in it s spo the time she left for class. » "All that and she'll still be toclassonw* Grace smirked and unwrapped her bean ^ ^ She knew it was time to go home. -J there was somewhere to go to be away. Away. Grace understood nothing ca * or flight. When something happened, sn ^ As fast as she could, in whatever was conv ^ First semester her father had ma ^ pledge her sisters sorority. He had ta of jrowiy. ,,w -h trans- into a major in environmental health, w ^ latcd meant inspecting bread plants to ma ^f rats weren't getting drunk over huge °^n^gniel yeast and being baked into loaves o ( Bread. At the end of her first two m° $. school. Grace had moved out of the dorm ^ tcr lived in. dropped out of the sore' J'^ changed her major. Thus alienating n ^ family and 30 well paid friends in one re The thing was. classes sti11 wefC smUg well. The people in her new major w ^ and cliquish. It was a small dePartmcnking sec- shc walked through the designated sm°^as paSt. tion. all conversation stopped until she ^^ She knew they thought she was a sn° wasntthe didn't do well with new people. She "Smoking" Continued on page
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Object’s are ‘parent’ level descriptions to ‘children’ items, (e.g. a book with pages).