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Western Carolinian Volume 65 (66) Number 19

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  • 14 GET A LIFE February 07,2001 Movie Review Valentine" and "Slumber Party Massacre" in Same Category: Very, Very BAD By Jenni Bartels Features Editor With all of the crappy, lovey-dovey, chick-flicks that seem to rear their ugly heads around Valentine's Day, I thought, "How refreshing-— a horror movie. One based on a book no less. This should be good." How very wrong I was. "Valentine," directed by Jamie Blanks ("Urban Legend") stars a slew of what Hollywood calls "up-and- coming stars." Everyone else calls them "nobodies." This film features faces you recognize but can't name. Perhaps they were waiter or waitress number two in a movie you've seen recently. The only two faces that have names as far as the general public is concerned are David Boreanaz (the WB's "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and "Angel") and Denise Richards ("Wild Things" and "Drop Dead Gorgeous"). And oh, the plot. You've seen it before; so don't pay $7.50 to see it again with "up-and-coming" faces. A crazed killer in a mask is stalking a clique of five pretty girls that grew up together. But wait! It's a CUPID mask. How festive. How original. Of course, each girl falls into a horror movie chick prototype. There's Paige (Richards) the slutty one, Lily the fun one, Shelley the smart one, Dorothy photo courtesy o/Warner Bros Shelton and Boreanaz fear for their lives and bad Box Office reviews. the once fat one, and Kate (Marley Shelton) the sweet one and star. And, naturally, there's a huge party that gives the killer the opportunity to slice and dice over and over again. Stop me if this sounds familiar. So where does Boreanaz fit in? He's Kate's attractive alcoholic boyfriend. What's Up at In Your Ear By Hannah Crane Staff Writer As you open the glass door and step inside, you enter a world of sight and sound. A world of colors and light. A world where all sorts of music is at your fingertips. You have entered In Your Ear Music Emporium. However, if you have ventured into the store this semester, you noticed some changes. Located on Main Street in downtown Sylva, In Your Ear has become a fixture satisfying the musical cravings of Western Carolina students and locals alike for seven years. The knowledgeable and friendly sales staff and fantastic CD selection are still the same, but the overall appearance is completely new. Butterflies and dragonflies hang from the ceiling. The freshly painted blue walls and soft carpeted floor gives the whole room a renewed feeling of vivacity. CD racks are rearranged to give the room a more circular feeling. A refreshed, re-energized attitude is obvious from the moment you walk in and hear the music of the day filling the room. The changes are not complete however. Owner Lauren Calvert excitedly mentions that later this year In Your Ear will take the emporium idea a step further and feature clothing and shoes in the upper room of the store. In the meantime, they continue to offer jewelry and decorations for your body and room. This is an excellent opportunity to check out what's been going on at the neighborhood music store and support a local business. Wonder what he does in his spare time. It seems as though anyone with any affiliation to "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" has decided to try their hand at film. Of course, Sarah Michelle Gellar (the illustrious Buffy) has been in several successful features ("Cruel Intentions," "Simply Irresistible," and "I Know What You Did Last Summer") and has now inspired her costars to dive into the movie pool. With Eliza Dushku in "Bring It On" and Alyson Hannigan in "Road Trip," it ^_ was only a matter of time before Vjavid Boreanaz decided it was his turn to be on the silver screen. He should have passed. He should have run screaming into the night, actually. Marley Shelton was sweet, and she could scream, as per her character, but that's about all. She was unconvincing when it counted, and above all she was boring. They probably couldn't get Heather Graham so they got someone who looked exactly like her. If that's the case, then she served her purpose, and she can go back to waiting tables. Richards, as always, plays a sexy little vixen with an attitude and does it very well. It's always refreshing to see talented actresses taking on such challenging roles. Blanks seems to be falling back on the surprise ending gimmick that has become so popular, thanks to M. Night Shyamalan's recent successes ("The Sixth Sense" and "Unbreakable"). With "Urban Legend" it worked. In "Valentine" he falls short. With a plot that drags, and was weak to begin with, "Valentine" stumbles and stutters its way through cliche after cliche. In 97 minutes there was a shower scene, a hot tub scene, a big party, a funeral, AND an unsavory pervert neighbor. That about covers the basic horror movie formula, doesn't it? Valentine Directed by Jamie Blanks Starring: David Boreanaz Denise Richards fstars: NONEIJ • ••••Seeit NOW ~k~k~k + See it relatively soon •kit ir Wait for the video ** Watch for it on USA * See it in \ lell... Over and over agai Yes, yes it does. And that formula has been done to death (no pun intended). To see "Valentine" is to play a cruel joke on yourself. Don't waste your money, time, and attention span on this movie. You could spend your money on much better things. Ten year old chopped liver, for example. l§y#& Are Available A. apes Other Cool Stuff downtown sylva • 586-6404 mon-sat 11 -9 upcoming^releases Q2-Q7-Q1 Diamond Rio Jeff Beck Rod Stewart
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Object’s are ‘parent’ level descriptions to ‘children’ items, (e.g. a book with pages).