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WCU - Western Carolina University Publications

Western Carolinian Volume 19 Number 08

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Item 1 - Western Carolinian Volume 19 Number 08
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Western Carolinian Volume 19 Number 08

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Item 2 - Western Carolinian Volume 19 Number 08
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Western Carolinian Volume 19 Number 08

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Item 3 - Western Carolinian Volume 19 Number 08
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Western Carolinian Volume 19 Number 08

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Item 4 - Western Carolinian Volume 19 Number 08
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Western Carolinian Volume 19 Number 08

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Item 5 - Western Carolinian Volume 19 Number 08
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Western Carolinian Volume 19 Number 08

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Western Carolinian Volume 19 Number 08

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  • Page 6 THE WESTERN CAROLINIAN THE GLEAN ONES An undertaker was out parked with his girl friend in a very beautiful mjonlit spot. After much hesitation and waiting, the girl turned to the undertaker and demanded: "If you don't kiss me, I'll die!" "Oh heck, here I am torn between love and duty." "Where's your little brother this morning, dear?" the teacher asked. "He's in bed," reported Bobby. "He hurt hisself." "Oh, that's too bad. How did it happen?" "We were playing at who could lean farthest out of tire window and he won." themselves out, but I like the one about a man in one of the front rows at a movie house being jostled so much by a latecomer he finally shouted angrily: "For heavens' sake, I can't see! Move along!" "I'd like to," said the other fellow, "but I can't., I'm in the film." Just heard about the wealthy Texan who gave his son and daughter-in-law adjoining oil wells for Christmas—marked His and Hers. Three-D jokes Vive about worn It was at a sales convention of the "Happy Pup" Dog Food Company. The walls were covered with point-of-sale displays and pictures of dog owners testifying to the excellence of "Happy Pup." The sales manager, after a rousing tolling the virtues of BELK'S DEPT. STORE Visit Belk's New Store New Location—Allison Building Main Street Sylva, N. C. H. J. Landis, Mgr. Phone 287 ►♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦< RITZ ICE CREAM SHOP We Appreciate Your Patronage Beside the Theatre Sylva, N. C. ►♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦< HOOPER MOTOR CO. Buick—Pontiac and GMC Sales and Service Cullowhee Rd. Sylva, N. C. Phone 276 THE TOWNHOUSE Only 200 Yards From New Classroom Building OPEN SUNDAY — 3 P.M. to 9 P.M. Fountain Service — School Supplies Mr. and Mrs. E. C. Phifer HEDDEN'S BARBER SHOPS SYLVA, N. C. CULLOWHEE, N. C. Mallonee-Dillard Cleaners Sylva, N. C. Different Agents This Quarter but The Same Reliable Work AGENTS: Guy Roberts Junior Hooper We Specialize In Sandwiches Of All Kinds Home Cooked Meals — Thick Milk Shakes GRADE A Open Until 11 P.M. Every Night Just Across Bridge Cullowhee, N. C. TROY'S DRIVE-IN Thick Shakes and Tasty Sandwiches Curb Service Highway 19A and 23 Sylva, N. C. their product, finished by shouting: "Gentlemen, what dog food has 30 per cent more beef in each can than any other dog food?" "Ours!" roared the salesmen, loyally. "What dog food maintains higher-tharr-human sanitary standards?" he asked. "Ours!" "And what dog food company spends more money for advertising than any other firm in the field?" The walls reverberated to the roar, "Ours!" "Then why is it, with all the force put behind our sales campaign, that we stand only 14th in national sales volume?" From the back of the room came a small voice: "The dogs don't like it." Harry Hershfield tells about the day Solly Violinski, the comedy violinist, lost his bankroll betting at the racetrack. As he was leaving he saw a friend rushing by. "Wait a minute, Fred," he moaned. "Where are you going?" "This is my bridge night!" the man called back. "It's mine, too—let's jump off together." "My girl friend's a wonder," said one Campus Joe. "Last winter she knitted me socks out of an old bathing suit and this summer she knitted a bathing suit for herself out of my old socks." He has Tarzan eyes—they swing from limb to limb. Mother: Where do bad little girls 3? Betty: Most everywhere. go? Daughter: "I took my boy : into the loving room last and—" Mother: "That's living, net ing." Daughter: "You're telling me!" Two ghosts swept through the door of a saloon and sidled up to the bar. "1 say," moaned one to the bartender, "do you serve spirits?" And then there was the illegitimate Rice Krispie—lots of snap and crackle, but no pop. A professor, annoyed with his clockwaiching students, covered the clock with cardboard on which he lettered: "Time Will Pass. Wiii You?" Most fires are a race between the fireman and the fire to see who can do the most damage. Some fellows are so lazy going to the dogs that they want to dogs to meet them half way. Coed: "Daddy, the girl who sits next to me in class has a dress just like mine." Dad: "So you want a new dress." Coed: "Well, it would be cheaper than changing colleges." i lunch in a road map." A bachelor's getting old when the friends who used to say "Why don't you get married?" change to, "Why didn't you get married?" George Kaufman, before he became a regular on television, was invited to make a guest appearance and was told, "It is the custom for guests to turn the mont.i over to a favorite charity.'' "Personally, 1 prefer to give mine to a very needy family, Said George, "of which I am tht Nudists: People who weal button suits. Hollywood: Where girls the streets carefully and their leg: recklessly. 'Son," came the answer, "I don't have to go to work. I wake up surrounded by it." The pharmacist's mate was preparing to fingerprint a new recruit. "Wash your hand," he or- Saturday, Feb. 6, 1954 dered the boot. "Both of them?" asked the novice. The pharmacist's mate thought that one over for a minute. "No," he replied. Just one of them. I want to see how you do it." Compliments of KIRK-DAVIS CHEVROLET CO. CULLOWHEE ROAD Prof: Are you cheating on this exam. Student: No sir. I was only telling him that his nose was dripping on my paper. The hardest thing about learniiife how to skate is the ice, when you get right down to it. He (after kiss): "Aaah, that was I a triumph of mind over matter." She: "Yes, I don't mind because you don't matter." It's funny how a tree will stand in one place for years and then suddenly jump in front of a lady driver. You're an optimist if you don't care what happens so long as it happens to somebody else. When asked her age the lad., replied. "Well, .let me figure it out. I was 18 when I married and my husband was 30. He is 60, or twice as old as he was then, so I am now 36." The boys at the roundhouse • b- served that one of the crew was unusually glum, and asked what was bothering him. '1 think my wife is tired of me,' he replied. "What makes you think that?" inquired a marital-wise friend. "Every day this week," he answered, "she has wrapped my A soldier home on furlough was telling the local bartender all about life at camp. "We have a very unusual situation at our camp," said the soldier. "One of our sergeants in Headquarters Company is a girl. And believe me she's beautiful." "A WAC, eh?" observed the bartender. — "No, that's just it," went on the GI. "She's a soldier just like tht rest of us. She eats with us, sleeps in the barracks with the men, and even takes showers where we do." "I don't understand," said the bartender. "How the devil doc- she get away with it?" "Who's gonna talk?" shrugged the soldier. ►♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦•♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦»♦♦ Joe: What did you say? Blow: I don't know: I wasn' listening. A farmer was asked what time he got up to go to work. CAROLINA MOTOR CLUB THE AAA IS EVERYWHERE Automobile Insurance Of All Types Special Rates To Farmers and All Careful Drivers See or Write: WINFORD S. HUGHES Box 131 Whittier, N. C. ►♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦»» Nature gives everybody five senses—touch, taste, sight, smell and hearing. Everybody needs two more—horse and common. "Why did I sock my wife, Your Honor? Well, she kept deviling me all the time." "Just how did she irritate you?" Asked the judge. "She kept saying: 'Beat me! Hit me! Go ahead, hit me just once and I'll have you hauled up before that bald-headed, old repor- bate they call a judge, and you'll see what he'll do to you.' " "Case dismissed." Liggett & Myers Tobacco Co. says... A girl in a low-cut dress asked her doctor what to do about a cold. "The first thing," said the doc, "is to go home, get dressed and go to bed." Then there was the guy who was so conceited that he walked down Lovers' Lane by himself. Do not neglect your own ability and do not despise the mediocrity of others. Many women who had hour glass figures when they were young find that the sands of time run downhill. Then there was the woman who literally blue her top—she dyed in the process. VieVetjayj VETERANS'THAT c or claims NUMBER WHICH YOU GET FROM VA WHEN YOU FIRST APPLY FOR A BENEFIT IS VERY IMPORTANT. USE IT EVERY TIME YOU WRITE VA. you'll get FASTER service. Por fall information contact your nearest VETERANS ADMINISTRATION office HELP WANTED MEN and WOMEN: We need representatives in your locale to help fill out an organization for business surveys, delinquent account listings, polls, and public opinions. . . . Ideal part- time work. . . . Choose your own hours. . . . Your nearest telephone may be your place of business for surveys not requiring the signatures of those inverviewed. . . . Send $1 for administrative guarantee fee, application blank, questionnaire, plan of operation, and all details on how you may manage a survey group for us. . . . GARDEN STATE and NATIONAL SURVEYS, P. O. Box 83, Cedar Grove, New Jersey. T^OR more than thirty years we have used ■*- research day in and day out learning about tobaccos and cigarettes in the public's interest. Continuously we and our consultants have analyzed, experimented with and smoked all kinds of tobaccos.. .especially Southern Bright, Burley, Maryland and Turkish cigarette tobaccos. Our own cigarettes and competitive brands have been submitted to the most exacting scientific scrutiny including thousands of analyses of millions of pounds of tobaccos. From all these thousands of analyses, and other findings reported in the leading technical journals, our Research Department has found no reason to believe that the isolation and elimination of any element native to cigarette tobaccos today would improve smoking. For four years we have maintained in the smoker's interest an intensified larger scale diversified research program. A half-million dollar 30-ton machine, the world's most powerful source of high voltage electrons, designed solely for our use has tested tens of thousands of cigarettes. This program has already given to us direct and significant information of benefit to the smoking public. Our consultants include Arthur D. Little, Inc. of Cambridge, Massachusetts, "one of the largest and most reputable industrial research organizations in the country" (From Business Week Magazine) and eminent scientists from leading universities. Today the public can confidently choose from a variety of brands — by far the best cigarettes ever made by the tobacco industry. (^L/^UiAC^y^fJll^^'Jov^^cco Co*; 3 Brands Tested and Approved by 30 Years of Scientific Tobacco Research ^opTngto 1954, Liggett & Myers Tobacco Co.
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Western Carolina University Publications

The Western Carolinian is Western Carolina University’s student-run newspaper. The paper was published as the Cullowhee Yodel from 1924 to 1931 before changing its name to The Western Carolin...

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