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Western Carolinian, November 2, 1995 (Volume 61 Number 10)
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16 Western Carolinian November 2,1995 Editorials Acquaintance Rape Victim Shares Experience Following two recent incidents in which WCU coeds elected not to seek prosecution of the persons who may have sexually assaulted them, Dawn M. Swift, gave the Western Carolinian permission to publish the following letter. She hopes it will be of help to future victims of such assaults. This letter was also published in The Penn, the student newspaper at Indiana University of Pennsylvania and is addressed to that paper's editor. Our thanks to Dawn for having the courage to share her experience. Dear Mr. Levan: It is great to know that there are people who realize the serious problem of sexual violence. I commend you on your attempt to inform the public through your editorial section ("Know Your Rights," 9/20/ 95 issue). However, I am not writing to praise you, or the author, but to present the flip side of the subject. First I feel that I should tell you a little about myself. I am a 22-year-old, first- semester continuing education student, and seven credits away from getting my undergraduate degree. Most important of all, I am a RAPE victim who has never pressed charges. As an acquaintance RAPE victim, I personally know the fear, anxiety, etc. that one feels as a victim of a such a violent crime. My experience was so traumatic that I did not admit to the event happening until over a year had passed. Just like any other traumatic event that may happen in an individual's life, there are stages one goes through. You do not suddenly become mentally focused and say, "Gosh, I should help other women who may fall in the path of this mean monster!" A person does the best with what is given to her/him. Does anyone deal with trauma the "right way?" No, I would dare say most people deny that they were RAPED, just like I did. After my experience I was numb, and from my upbringing in a "nice, Southern Baptist home," I thought it was my fault. He [the RAPIST] had a gun, he had been drinking, and he was very persistent in getting what he wanted. The only thing that my upbringing taught me about RAPE was guilt, ignorance, and silence. Maybe I should have said "NO" louder, maybe I should have pushed him away with more force, and maybe I should have told the "nice, Southern Baptist" police officers about the most humiliating experience of my life. I did what I thought was best, which was hide it from everyone including myself. I never saw the RAPIST again. After the denial stage I did reach out for help, slowly, but at the pace that was best for me. My counselor was a good start to creating a support system. Once I convinced myself that I did not ask to be violated and that I am not a bad person, I extended my support group to include close friends and family. Soon it became easier to tell acquaintances, and today, write down my experience for possible publication in 77ie Penn. I allow my experience to re-victimize myself. I hope that one day I will call myself a "survivor," but as long as my RAPIST lives I will always be a victim. My only security is that the man who violated me will stop his hurtful actions, is for him to die in front of me so I may touch his cold body! Do you think I will get my wish? I should say here that I did not utilize any support group or group therapy counseling after I was RAPED. Today that is my only regret in how I dealt with my RAPE. To do it all over again I still would not prosecute. I do not say that my way is right or anyone else should follow my steps, but I do encourage women to seek support immediately. The sooner you [the potential victim] get strong and mentally focused you may want to press charges. Getting to my reason for writing this letter, if I haven't lost you in my personal muck, it seems the author of the editorial has neglected to present logical reasons why a victim should not be afraid. The individual who wrote the editorial did not state whether s/he is a RAPE survivor. Regardless of this person's situation, my experience has been that non-rape victims seems to think they know better than real victims what should or should not be done in a RAPE situation. When (or until) the author has been in a RAPE victim's shoes, please refrain from playing the role of "father knows best!" The author mentioned two "known" RAPES this semester, but let me ask you what have you done to really educate this community on the issue? Are there IUP "campus oriented" groups in existence to act as a support system for the community? I know there are groups on other college campuses whose goal is to "help educate students on acquaintance/date RAPE and relationship violence.. .encourage responsible dating and assertive communication, provide educational awareness information concerning sexual violence issues, and taking a pro-active approach in RAPE prevention." (taken from the constitution of Western Carolina University's Student Coalition Against Acquaintance Rape [SCAAR]. IUP could use a group like SCAAR. Perhaps assertiveness training workshops will be a pro-active approach to potential victims, as well as re-active in helping hidden victims heal at IUP. Everyone, victims and non-victims alike, should join against atrocities like RAPE. Unfortu nately, this is not Utopia as some Americans would like to believe. Bad things happen to good people, and there is not guarantee the problem will vanish if victims will "just do it." The problem is too big to apply a Nike slogan to the situation. Unless you can guarantee 100% safety and convictions what is there not to be afraid of? Personally, I feel it is bad taste to blame RAPE victims for future incidences of sex crimes. The author said, ". . .is that [RAPE] something someone else should have to deal with when it could have prevented." I am unsure of the statistics, but are you aware that convicted RAPISTS often are paroled halfway through their sentence and free to rape again? My opinion is a lifetime of prison is too easy a punishment. RAPISTS do not deserve to enjoy the pleasure of living life. At the first 6 o 'clock series, a young lady spoke about her experience in reporting an acquaintance RAPE. This William and Mary alumni faced opposition from faculty and students, even though the RAPIST admitted she said NO! On top of that the District Attorney said there is "no such thing as acquaintance RAPE." If that isn't a horror story I don't know what is. Let's stop pointing fingers at the victims and reach out to hold their hands instead! While I attended the 6 o 'clock series, I would just like you to know it is ignorance, like the audience displayed, that angers me most. The young man I sat beside made it clear he was "forced" to attend, and the subject was a bunch of "crap." It is people with these attitudes that you should be badgering to change and act brave. It takes a strong person to let "no" be "no," and to think before speaking. It is my opinion that this editorial, for whatever good intentions, is asking victims to stand up to a society content to hear our stories on Montel, Sally and Oprah. It is easy to sit on your couch and go through the motions and write about change, but the kind of change you ask for would take the 100% support of every American citizen. What percent of the people are standing against this issue today? People have lost faith in their government and most of all their fellow man. I challenge the IUP community to do more than talk and write. When I see groups like SCAAR at IUP making times tough for the RAPIST, then tell me, "don't be afraid to report the crime." Sincerely, Dawn M. Swift Keep rock/in' Ramsey Dear Editor, I am writing not as a member of the university administration, but as a fan of rock 'n' roll music. I would like to encourage as many students as possible — and faculty, staff and residents of the surrounding community — who enjoy rock music to attend the November 9 concert in the Ramsey Center by the Allman Brothers Band. I've heard and read a lot of student complaints over the past several years that Western never has any good rock concerts, that all we ever have in Cullowhee are country music shows. Folks, there's a reason for that: Country music concerts have done very well in the past couple of years. Just ask anyone who attended the sold-out show by Tim McGraw, BlackHawk and 4-Runner last month. Concert promoters look at the past track record of a facility when deciding where they should book their bands. With the success in the past few years of Ramsey Center shows by Travis Tritt, Confederate Railroad, Lorrie Morgan and Clay Walker, and most recently Tim McGraw and company, you can bet that country music concerts will continue in the Ramsey Center. Sure, the Allman Brothers Band might not be everyone's first choice for a rock show in Cullowhee (apparently, that would be Pearl Jam). But it's a mighty good start. These guys are the real McCoy, not some nostalgic blasts-from-the-past trying to relive their glory days, not some washed-up lumbering dinosaurs of Jurassic Rock who are only touring again because somebody in the band needs to earn enough money to buy a new liver. Here's your chance to ensure that we have rock concerts in the future at Western. If the Allman Brothers show is deemed a success, promoters and agents will take a good look at the Ramsey Center for more concerts. If not, you might as well take your cowboy hats out of storage and polish up your snakeskin boots, because we'll be doing the bootscootin' boogie for years to come. And we rock 'n' roll fans will have no one to blame but ourselves. Bill Studenc Office of Public Information
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The Western Carolinian is Western Carolina University's student-run newspaper. The paper was published as the Cullowhee Yodel from 1924 to 1931 before changing its name to The Western Carolinian in 1933.
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