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Western Carolinian Volume 74 Number 05

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Western Carolinian Volume 74 Number 05

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Western Carolinian Volume 74 Number 05

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Western Carolinian Volume 74 Number 05

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Western Carolinian Volume 74 Number 05

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Western Carolinian Volume 74 Number 05

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Western Carolinian Volume 74 Number 05

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Western Carolinian Volume 74 Number 05

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Western Carolinian Volume 74 Number 05

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Western Carolinian Volume 74 Number 05

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Western Carolinian Volume 74 Number 05

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Western Carolinian Volume 74 Number 05

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Western Carolinian Volume 74 Number 05

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  • December 12, 2008 WESTERN CAROLINIAN FEADPUBES. GWAR CONSUMES DOWNTOWN ASHEVILLE IN A BLOOD-SOAKED RAGE!! RAVENOUS MOBS OF BLOODTHIRSTY COHORTS FLOOD INTO CITY, STOPPING TRAFFIC, ASSAULTING BARS, FRIGHTENING HIPPIES, TERRIFYING THE ELDERLY, AND ENGAGING IN ABSOLUTE BEDLAM. By Jeff Moses Moss Contributing Writer Keepin it Gonzo. Monday, October 6th, 2008 began as just another beginning of the week in Ashevilles Leafer Season. Unbeknownst to the vast ma- jority of Ashevillians, a terri- ble torment was gunning into town, leaving a trail of bloody destruction in their wake. This monstrous force attract- ed its followers to their final destination: The Orange Peel. Upon hearing that Death- Pod is coming, from the sky, the vast legions of disciples and curious minds bought all tickets aailable, selling out the venue. The event was just one stop on their Elec- tile Disfunction Tour 2008. The gruesomely gory under- ground metal band GWAR hosted the event, bringing in reinforcements from the likes of Kingdom of Sorrow, and Toxic Holocaust. GWAR, a theatrical heavy-metal group has been playing for twenty- four years; since they began as art students at Virginia Commonwealth University in the vicious year of out lord 1985. Ever since, they have toured the world spread- ing doom and destruction through their stage shows, which include decapitation and dismemberment of celeb- rities, politicians, their arch nemeses, and alike, A GWAR concert is full of blood spray, gore, violence, comedy and of course ejaculation of alien life forms. Anyone who dares CHLer ooh, ATENA\. showcas:, ing GWAR should be fully aware, that at anytime. they, may be splattered in alien blood and or semen, fed to the World Maggot, or oth- erwise accosted just for be- ing a pathetic human. All of these scenarios are perfectly acceptable and indeed lusted after by the raving masses of GWAR fans, myself included, Herein lays my tale of the occurrences of that fate- ful night. | thought it fitting _ to coordinate with my older brother Mattye, whom has been an Ashevillian for the past 17 years as well as an avid GWAR fan, to ride up . to the show, in total Gonzo style, upon our obscenely loud V-Twin motorcycles. My lovely girlfriend Empress Rocks My Socks and I were to meet Mattye and his long- time friend Mat, yes spelled like the thing out front of your door, at a watering hole hear the Peel known as Hannah Flannagans, a quaint Irish Pub. Inside there were many, like us, who cared not for the opening acts, only for the main event. We fueled our growing bloodlust with a couple frosty pints and a round of Jagermizer shots. I had to abstain from having more than a couple, for ear- lier in the day, whilst still in. Cullowhee, I had been diag- nosed with the Cullowhee Crud, due to which I had been prescribed Cephalexin. forthe eru@ ake UA drocdaitie for my!
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Western Carolina University Publications

The Western Carolinian is Western Carolina University’s student-run newspaper. The paper was published as the Cullowhee Yodel from 1924 to 1931 before changing its name to The Western Carolin...

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