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Western Carolinian Volume 71 Number 07

items 17 of 28 items

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Item 1 - Western Carolinian Volume 71 Number 07

Western Carolinian Volume 71 Number 07

HL_WesternCarolinian_2007-01-05_Vol71_No07_01

Item 2 - Western Carolinian Volume 71 Number 07

Western Carolinian Volume 71 Number 07

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Western Carolinian Volume 71 Number 07

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Western Carolinian Volume 71 Number 07

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Western Carolinian Volume 71 Number 07

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Western Carolinian Volume 71 Number 07

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Western Carolinian Volume 71 Number 07

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Item

Details
- Format
  - Publications (documents)
- Type
  - Text
- Source institution
  - Western Carolina University
- Identifier
  - HL_WesternCarolinian_2007-01-05_Vol71_No07_17
Transcript

Mmm is for microwave By Zach McKeown * WCnewsmagazine Alright, hotshot, you're sitting in your dorm room, undoubtedly working on a paper or some other academic masterpiece, and suddenly you're struck by an ungodly hunger. Surely Chik-Fil-A could not satisfy and the walk to Subway is along and cold one. The prospects seem bleak and a grade is hanging in the | balance. What do you do? You probably go hungry that night and suffer the consequences days later. Of course, this could have been avoided by a quick trip to Wal-Mart and a | little strategic shopping. My friends, Im here to tell you to stop insulting your microwave with budget foods and abusing your stomach with chemical preservatives! Theres a whole world of gourmet cuisine waiting out there and none of it starts with a freeze-dried brick of noodles. How do scrambled eggs for breakfast sound? Got five minutes? Sure you do! Step one You'll need two eggs for this one. Steal them from your roommate if you must. Crack them open into a bowl and use a fork or any other clean utensil to mix them until they're completely yellow. Sprinkle in some salt and pepper, if you're a salt and pepper person. Step two Pour roughly two tablespoons of milk in with the eggs. Im guessing you probably don't have an accurate measuring cup, so just try to get in the two tablespoons ballpark. It's just scrambled eggs, people, not rocket science. Step three In a separate bowl, melt two small slices of margarine. Take note that margarine is not butter. Buy margarine, it will taste better. This | will take around thirty seconds. This step will keep your entire microwave from exploding, so don't skip it. If you're not the type of person who enjoys doing dishes, then do this step first, followed by the first two. Step four Pour the eggs into the bowl with the margarine, which is not butter. Pop it into the microwave for three or four minutes. Dont go take a shower during this time, as | cant guarantee you've gotten it right and it'd be tragic if you burned your entire dorm down in the interest of a hot breakfast. Step five Take the eggs out, let them cool off for a minute or two, then enjoy. Its really that easy, boys and girls. If youre of a spicy nature, toss in some chopped jalapeno peppers or some Worcestershire sauce. Feel free to yell, BAM! as loud as you'd like during the process. Your roommate will love you for it. Breakfast is covered. Next up: lunch. You like pizza, | like pizza, everyone likes pizza. If you dont like pizza, then go eat some sushi or something. Cool people like pizza, and | know youre cool, so heres how you make microwave pizza. Step one Start with four English muffins. These are not muffins, dont try this with muffins. It helps if you have a toaster, but if you prefer a soft crust, you can cook them raw. If you do have a toaster, (which you shouldnt because theyre illegal in the dorms.... however, pop them in for a few seconds prior to microwaving. Step two Top each muffin with tomato sauce. Any sauce will do as | it isnt highly flammable. Use as much or as little as you personall prefer. If you prefer a little spice in your meal, add a pinch of garlic powder. Top the whole monstrosity off with a mound of mozzarella cheese. Step three Toss the mini-pizzas into the microwave for one or two minutes. Let them sit for a few seconds afterward. If youd rather not, just be sure that the sauce isnt molten. Explaining a horrible burn wound to the ladies as an incident with a muffin is not impressive. Step four Feel free to toss any sort of toppings on there that you like, except for fish or pineapple, because thats disgusting and you're disgusting for eating it. BAM! where necessary. Alright, so breakfast and lunch are covered. That's something, but no day is complete without dinner, and growing minds require hearty meals. Rest assured, if you've got a little time and a little motivation, there are microwave meals to be made. And so without further adieu, | present for your culinary satisfaction: Beef Stroganoff. Before we begin, its important to note that this isnt necessarily the most convenient of microwave meals. It is, however, terribly impressive and will smell amazing to everyone on your floor. In addition, you can finally invite a young man or lady to your room for a gourmet meal that you've prepared from scratch without being a liar. Step one Go to the store. Any store with food. Buy a pound of ground beef, a large onion, a can of condensed cream of chicken soup and a little sour cream. If you don't already have it, go ahead and pick up some salt and pepper as well as a baking dish, preferably eight inches and a few sheets of waxed paper. | did say this one was a little involved, didnt I? You can handle it, though, | have faith. Step two Toss the ground beef (unwrapped) into the baking dish along with the onion, which you've peeled and chopped. You have done that, haven't you? Go do it; Ill wait here until you get back. Cover the whole raw mess with a sheet of waxed paper and cook it for six minutes or until the meat isn't pink. Don't eat pink meat. Step two Drain the fat and wash your hands, if you haven't already. The fat will be gross looking, and it probably doesn't taste amazing. You can probably dispose of it in a sanitary way, but the drain on a water fountain works just as well. Go ahead and add a pinch of salt and pepper, as well as that can of cream of chicken soup you bought. Step three Whip off the waxed paper and cook the entire mixture, uncovered, for six to eight minutes. Once finished, stir in a cup of sour cream, then cover it with plastic wrap or anything you have lying around for two minutes. Step four Eat it! It might be nice if you served it over noodles, but thats your call. This ought to serve four people, which means its going to be just about enough for one really hungry student. There you have it; a full days worth of meals that you can prepare right in that dorm room of yours. So whats your excuse now? Chik-Fil-A won't make you eggs, time to take your culinary well-being into your own hands. Bon appetite! ei iat,

Object

Description

The Western Carolinian is Western Carolina University's student-run newspaper. The paper was published as the Cullowhee Yodel from 1924 to 1931 before changing its name to The Western Carolinian in 1933.
Details
- Creator
  - Western Carolina University
- Format
  - Publications (documents)
- Type
  - Text
- Date
  - Date original: 2007-01-05
- Extent
  - Dimension: 12.5" x 11.25"
  - Pages: 28
- Subject - Topic
- Location
  - Jackson County (N.C.)
  - Cullowhee (N.C.)
- Source institution
  - Western Carolina University
- Source Collection
  - WCU Students Newspapers Collection
- Identifier
  - HL_WesternCarolinian_2007-01-05_Vol71_No07
- Repository
  - Western Carolina University Hunter Library

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