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Western Carolinian Volume 45 Number 0U812

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  • TheVrfestern Carolinian Voice of Tehran Tuesday, April 1,1980 Vol. XLV No. 0U812 t.d.9s owner receives liquor license Bar to open in Cullowhee In a surprise move, Cullowhee entrepreneur Dave Rayburn has purchased the old Cullowhee Post Office and has announced that he will open the school's first bar/restaurant. When asked how he could do such a thing in a dry community, Rayburn replied, "You know, since I moved to Sylva I've really learned the importance of how you spend your money. The Board of Commissioners has been nothing but kind to me." The bar/restaurant, scheduled to open this weekend, will feature a "Drink till you drop" party on Friday nights with your favorite beverage just 25 cents. Tuesdays will sec the "Red Tape Special," where overpaid, underworked school administrators can enjoy the famous three martini lunch for just $3.75. As a special feature, Rayburn will run a free shuttle bus from "Cotton'S Erection" every fifteen minutes during the standard bureaucratic two hour lunch Runs for presidency 4th time period. When one of the chancellor] sv;is asked for comment, he refused to be quoted by name, but said he was "damn glad something was done about the atrocious working conditions in Cullowhee." Dr. Stiilion went on to say that he "hoped the chancellor would take advantage of this fine community service. He gets so damn uptight sitting through those board meetings and with his hemorrhoids, he gets about impossible by lunchtime." Rayburn also intends to run specials for the various academic departments. "Take Political Science for instance," he said, "They're so worried about funding cuts we'll have them in here every afternoon." Sal Nerboso, professor of political science, agreed. "Just because Bill doesn't know his head from a horse's ass isn't any reason we can't get together for a couple of drinks at lunchtime." Howard the Duck files for SGA slot "I think we can do it this year," he said as he left the SGA Offices after filing for SGA President for the fourth year in a row. But even with his vast political experience things do not look good for campus political veteran Howard the Duck. The student senate's Election Commission again rejected Howard's bid to be on the ballot for next week's election. Howard has pledges he will be a write-in candidate for the fourth year in a row. Howard the Duck first came to the WCU political^ scene in 1977 when he finished third in the presidential race behind Pat Murphy and Nancy Hope. Howard was the recipient of only 12 votes that year. In 1978 he won over 25 votes in the presidential election and last year received over 35 votes in his most successful bid to date. "In the past our campaign has been a sort of protest vote, that is, a vote for Howard as a vote of protest against the other candidates. But this year is going to be different. This year a Vote for Howard is a vote for change." Howard made his comments in an exclusive interview with the Western Carolinian. Howard says he is in support of gun control, stating his older brother, Ralph the Duck, had been killed last winter in Florida while visiting relatives on Lake Oka He also wants to do something about the parking situation on campus as well as the enforcement of campus speed limits. "I have pretty big feet and it takes a while to get across the street and last week I was almost run down three times." Howard plans to spend a great deal of advertising with the media. "I wanted to get on the American Sportsman but they said they would have to give equal time to the other candidates. I have an ad in Duck's Weekly, but the circulation is not very large on campus. I have some friends that are into flying and they are going to pull banners, drop flyers and do some skywriting." Howard is a member of Duck's Unlimited, The National Association of Quacks, the WCU Committee on the Beautification of Campus, the Anti-Mountain Heritage Center Pro Swamps Committee and College Republicans. He plans to do a great deal of door to door campaigning and make speeches at Bear Lake. He will also be on the UC lawn the day of the election. "Most of my friends like wet weather so we figure we have a . better chance if it rains, but in any case, we urge you to get out and vote for the Duck of your choice." Howard is the short fellow with the big beak and big feet. Andy 'Brown' Baggs, acting department head, said" he couldn't be happier. "People just don't know what it is to be a political science and pre-law advisor. I hasc to sit in that damn cockroach infested office for hours on end and actually lie to these kids. 1 mean who's kidding who? If these kids actually think they're going to graduate from a rinky-dink college like WCTC and be lawyers and politicians, they have another thing coming!" Bill Lattimer, found at the Maggie Valley Country Club playing his afternoon 18, said he was pleased by the announcement. "Just because Sal doesn't know his head from a horse's ass isn't any reason we can't get together for a couple of drinks at lunchtime." When asked about possible adverse effects on afternoon attendance, Rayburn replied "Everybody knows that nobody goes to class when the weather turns warm, so why pretend?" Jim Culp, Manager of the Physical Plant was given his fifth and Anal warning by Dr. Robinson about drinking on the job. Culp, tried to make it back up the hill following his lunch break but discovered the road had been moved. President Carter dropped in the polls again today because of his reportedly crude manners in public. Seen here with Secretary of State Cyrus Vance and others, Mr. Carter openly picks his nose. Inside today... Sports... 1 Classifieds ...2 Newsbriefs„.6 Letters... 7 FREE Carolinian Poster...5dc4
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