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WCU - Western Carolina University Publications

Western Carolinian Volume 39 Number 47

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Item 1 - Western Carolinian Volume 39 Number 47
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Western Carolinian Volume 39 Number 47

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Item 2 - Western Carolinian Volume 39 Number 47
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Western Carolinian Volume 39 Number 47

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Western Carolinian Volume 39 Number 47

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Western Carolinian Volume 39 Number 47

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  • ASK FATHER I FLANAGAN BY FATHER FRANCIS X. FLANAGAN, S.J. THE WESTERN CAROLTNIAN APRIL FOOLS DAY, 1974 PAGE 3 «»y»re»ft-,%fr^fr*-rai*ii%%^^ BUCK'S CORNER Students and Faculty, Western Carolina College, Cullowhee, N. C. Do you want a Representative who knows the highway needs of Western North Carolina—both Primary and Secondary? Do you want a Representative who believes that our Public School teachers deserve some tenure in their jobs? Do you want a Representative who believes that the State of North Carolina is financially able to pay its employees a decent living wage? Do you want a Representative who knows the past and believes in the future of Western Carolina College? Do you want a Representative who was educated in the public schools of Jackson County and at Western Carolina College? Do you want a representative who will work vigorously for operating revenue and capital improvements for Western Carolina College? If you answer to any of these questions is YES, then vote and work for me in the May 30th Democratic Primary. Most Sincerely, #k fa?s* Vt C/&&" MARCELLUS BUCHANAN Candidate for House of Representatives P.S. If you are not registered, don't fail to do so by Saturday, May 16. Paid Pol. Adv. , | WCU Rolls Over Stunned N.C. State Q: Does the olive in the martini break the Lenten fast, or is it considered part of the drink? —Mrs, J.S.W., Fredonia, N.Y.. A: This problem has vexed some of the subtlest minds of the Church. Is the olive qua olive part of the martini qua martini? Or is the olive a substance unto, of and within itself, per se in the drink rather than per accidens? And the question is further complicated by the fact that, if we consider the composition of liquid matter, an electron is but a tiny olive in the martini of the water glass (so to speak). But here the last word, as usual, goes to St. Thomas, who remarks In his "Summa Contra Omnes": "Ollva, quaecumque est, cibus est, et certe ieiunium frangit." It must be pointed out here that St. Thomas had no mystical foreknowledge of the martini. He was merely listing those solids which are food (as opposed to those ich are not.) It must also be said here for the benefit of non-Catholic men who find themselves seated in bars next to Catholic young ladies during Lent, that the offer of an olive should not be construed as an attempt to establish an improper liaison. Q: Hank Komodowski of Atlanta, Georgia writes: I am fifteen and every time I go to confession and confess unclean thoughts, the priest says, "Think of baseball." I dont like baseball, though I do like soccer and golf. But I am afraid that if I object I will seem stiff-necked and unrepentant. And I did try thinking of baseball, but it only made matters worse. Am I breaking the Seal of Confession by writing this letter? A: Yes. Q: How can you oppose women entering the priesthood when it is a fact that there was a Renaissance female Pope? —Ms. M. J., Cullowhee, NC A: Some foolish people believe that there was once a female Pope who was elected by mistake. This story probably originated several years after the papacy of Ganymede V, a Pope of doubtful masculinity. This golden-haired rather limp-wristed young man was elected in 1503, after an unusually long run of lecherous Popes; the feeling was that he would reverse the trend. The chronically anti-Catholic historian Furze calls Ganymede "a raving queen", but that indelicate epithet is unkindly used against this admittedly confused man, who had a habit of fainting into the arms of Leonardo da Vinci. It is true, of course, that the great Leonardo's unfinished painting "Saint Sebastian Dying in a Bed of Zinnias" was inspired by the sight of Ganymede running through the Baboli Gardens, clad only in a kir- tle of begonias. But all runors, true or otherwise, should have stopped when Ganymede was found dead in his bed one summer day in 1505. He had been smothered by orchids, which were poured into the room through the skylight while he slept, Q: If an Anglican priest converts to Catholicism, are all the confessions he heard before his conversion invalid? A: Thye are invalid even if he doesn't convert. The poor Anglican sinner that this "priest" has absolved is, sadly enough like a man who thinks he has filled a book with enough green stamps for an Eternal Reward. When, on the Last Day, he comes to the Redemption Center, God looks at the book and hands It back , saying with a frown, "These are not my stamps. Go somewhere else." Still clutching his worthless scrip, the bilked penitent falls headlong down the crystal stairs, bumping his head all the way to the bottom. Address your questions to: Father Francis X. Flanagon, c/o THE WESTERN CAROLINIAN. P,0, Box 66, Cullowhee,N.C 28723 Western Carolina University, now bound for the NCAA national tournament in Los Angeles, cut short a North Carolina State University rally last night and held on to edge the Wolfpack by an 80-77 margin, The win was the first ever for the Catamounts over a team from N.C. State and prompted WCU coach John Beegle to sneer, "That'll show themdurn down-oiate schools which end is up. We don't cotton to them big schools here in the mountains, and I guess they know who's boss now," When questioned on the WCU tactics which pulled off the upset of the year, Beegle barked, "Hell, what upset? We're just gooder than them. We used our basic 2-3 attack and just wore them out physically. The ice tea that the cafeteria provided for their water cooler didn't hurt either." by Hank Komodowski Asked about the unusually big turnout at the game, Coach Beegle was quite emphatic. "Anytime you manage to cram 22,000 people into Reid Gymnasium, sumptin's gonna give. Yesireebob, I've got to admit the atmosphere in that place was pretty rugged." The game itself went back and forth until the last period, when Western jammer Bertha Barn- house picked up four points on the final jam of the game to clinch the victory. Bertha, a 6*3" attacker who tips the scales at 240 pounds, literally tore the jersey off an opponent in herdrivetopaydirt. Asenior this year, Bertha came to fVCt) on a four-year beer scholarship after starring on the state champion team at Waynesville Hieh. The Cats' leading scorer had to be restrained by police after punch players on the N,C, State team. As she was dragged to the showers Bertha screamed, "Anyone tries that c-p again, CONTINUED PAGE 4 hue I mm. ¥ STtVUMCl | TUESDAY####LAST DAY One o Two Admit one for the price of two to the Ritz Theatre Tuesday Night, April 1, 1974. ■Vs.'WWi^^^W^'.^'^WWW^s^^tAfttVSs'Sr^t^t^sj'WWVWft I th"mnt" Sit 'AK sih.a JiHs^m mimmm Washinnon Report .... FROM PAGE 2 MINIMUM WAGE INCREASE Many of you have written to ask where I stand on the proposal to increase the minimum legal wage from $1.60 to $8.50 per hour. This is a ver> serious and vexing problem. I have decided to support this wage increase because I believe it will benefit those I care about most. Sure, I realize that the minimum wage tends to force poor people out of the job market, I know that it denies on- the-job training to those with the lowest skills by pricingtheir services out of the market. I am aware that because of minimum wage laws the unemployment rate for such groups as black teenagers has been driven from about 8% to well over 35% since World War II. But that is just the point, Through raising the minimum wage we hope to force enough niggers off the employment market to provide plenty of high paying jobs for our wonderful mountain union members, who contributed so generously to mv last election campaign. After all, the 69th district is only about two percent black, and who is more important, anyway? I hope that sums up for you my position on the current issues on Capitol Hill. To fac ilitate better communication with you, the people of this district, I am sending out a questionaire to all 78 "Democratic precinct captains in the Western part -of the state. Thank you all, and don't forget to write. John U Belk Pf.swits ■ li^-tyt FILMED 30 rilHOMS IMP IN 1DODA0/C01OB BYOtlUXf ~l-^" '*??£ » ■;. TDAVIUiiUQ CHiRVl MuwiiMiyt ." ■*■■.• --'.It I'-H- ^_P'-- . .'. V.i-Viv i-MlllM- III—SVIRGINIASIONI/ RiiEOG STARTS WEDNESDAY Claudia Jennings Gator Bait For Jackson County Sheriff VOTE PAID POL. ADV. teoooooooooooooooooooooopoooooooooooYOUR AMERICAN' PARTY CANDIDATE KiddiEs...----^mis, €> Wt RIM>T 66T NOMC fit, TH\S SH»T AT Cocaine? LSD? **p 7 GR9 SS.' PA MAMA ?Zl>\ ACULpOLCO? GOLT>\ ColVou-Vse^ c^ab1.' VEET mv/m-mcse*, THAI SKy-HVG-H ! Att YONi^sl? H.6K-QUAUT.O ASWM OPIUM? v» nx. 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Western Carolina University Publications

The Western Carolinian is Western Carolina University’s student-run newspaper. The paper was published as the Cullowhee Yodel from 1924 to 1931 before changing its name to The Western Carolin...

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