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Western Carolinian Volume 66 (67) Number 11

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  • WESTERN 10 CAROLINIAN GET A LIFE March 21, 2002 From The Vault Cruz Stars as Motion-Sick Chef in Woman on Top By Sasha Navarro Contributing Writer In a moment of temporary insanity, regular From The Vault columnist Sean Bilichka was promoted to reviewing movies that people actually watch, so I stepped in to fill his sizable vacancy. God help me. To yank fellow staff writer Jenni's intro from last week's paper, it's March, and that's Women's History month. So I reviewed a chick flick, aptly titled "Woman on Top." Now before you go tMiiking,'Wow, this new girl rocks!" just simmer down! "Woman on Top" has nothing to do with sleaze, raunch, or whatever it is you watch late at night to satisfy your carnal urges. No, in fact, "Woman on Top" is about love, motion sickness and cooking. Top billing goes to Penelope Cruz, Tom Cruise's Latin lover. Cruz-Cruise, hehheh. Anyway, Cruzplays Isabella, a Brazilian blessed with beauty, a knack for cooking and the curse of motion sickness. I'm talking the kind where she can't be in a car without reliving her last meal motion sickness.. .and that extends to her sexual life as well, meaning she's fine as long as she's the—"Woman on Top!" Title plug, yay! So that brings us to her love life. Isabella meets Tenino (Murielo Benecio), the handsome owner of a restaurant looking for a chef, and she ends up with a husband as well as a job. Female readers, he's a hottie, so here's your hook to keep reading. Of course, Tenino manages to screw things up, so Isabella sets off to the far reaches of the world (San Francisco) to become a famous chef, and to rid herself of Tenino. Does anyone remember Baz Lurhmann's remake of Romeo and Juliet with Claire Danes and Leonardo DiCrapio? Remember the guy who played his best friend Mercutio? Harold Perrineau Jr.? This guy shows serious talent as he takes a turn as Isabella's transsexual friend Monica. He's a show- stealer here, folks. Isabella makes a refreshing new start once she gets rid of the curse that is Tenino, and her old self returns. Men flock to her.. .women too as she emerges a brighter, captivating person. She charms Cliff Lloyd, atelevision producer who offers her her own cooking show, and of course ends up falling for Isabella Things heat up as Isabella's estranged husband travels to San Francisco to win back her affections, and Isabella suddenly has to figure out what she truly wants and needs, whether to love again.. .and above all, how this mayhem is going to affect her cooking. I'll stop here. I've never really reviewed a movie before, but I've read plenty and I know that I hate it when crappy reviewers give away the whole movie, so I'll start a new trend and hope that you actually watch the movie. It's formulaic, yet pleasing. It's predictable, but hilarious. It's not what you'd expect from the tide, but if you can get past the near-pom tide, I'm sure you'll like it. Well, at least my mom did. Keeping with family birthday shout-out traditions: Happy 47th Dad! <£0rVJ> OPBNW4 ceie&WTtoN myfQON mm* up ro* a kxxon specopass AND irOU COULD WIN A TANK OF OAS ■ACM MNIH MM OME YEAR a * -■ -..it' #*, ■ ■ ^0 \ mt^ wmr In Imm ■a I \*~f [ ImF *wP j *— 293-3S00 AMY BIO HOUSE f*jMrTBR SUNFLAIR TANNING SALON 293-312S GRAND PRIZE-SUNBEAM GAS GRILL OTHER PRIZES INCLUDE TANNING PACKAGES, LOTIONS, DINNER POR TWO, TIOER TAILS, KOOZIES, AND TOO MANY MORE LIST THUR MAR 21-SUN MAR 24 4778 UTTLC SAVANNAH ROAD, CUUOWHEE-ACROSS FROM WCU
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