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Kezia Stradley Osborne to Roland C. Osborne, January 12, 1862

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  • In this letter of January 12, 1862, Kezia Stradley Osborne reflects on life to date and reports news from home to her husband Roland C. Osborne.
  • January 12, 1862 Beaverdam January 12th 1862 My Dear Husband If you will stop over today I will give you a good dinner as this is my birthday. I am 24 years old today. I don’t feel that old though I have been a widow for the past six months and sick one half the time and a cripple the other half besides missing this great big boy lying here in the cradle. Well – doubtless the largest half of my life is gone. I have no idea of living 24 years longer and what have I done! How much better is the world for my having lived in it for 24 years, very little if any. Perhaps one pathway has been brighter for my having walked a little way in it. Perhaps one heart is glad this morning that I have lived as long and have done. If so I have not lived entirely in vain, though I have often thought that I was a great deal more trouble to my friends than advantage to them yet I know they have assisted me cheerfully and this morning I am thankful that I have so many friends and I am right glad that I have a kind husband and a sweet little boy and that I am still able to do something for them. And oh how thankful I shall be that I have a Friend that sticketh closer than a Brother; One who has watched over me all my life and what has been with all my weakness and sin; and who has blessed me this morning again with every blessing that I need. Yet What have I done for him who died To save my soul from Death Nothing at all on the contrary I have received his spirit in ten thousand instances and if ever I am saved it will be by grace alone not for anything that I have done My Dear your letter of the 29th instant has reached me at last. You said you only started to write a page or two and I believe you wrote the best letter you ever did write. I must compliment you upon the improvement you have made in writing. I never saw any one improve so fast I am getting almost ashamed to send you my scribbling. I have written every letter that I ever have sent you on my lap while rocking the cradle and you know that is a poor way to write. However I am willing for you to beat me if you will only write often enough. I do love to read your kind loving letters. You stated that you had been doing something that you knew would grieve me and asked me to guess before I read what it was. But my curiosity was so great to see what it was that I could not wait to guess but read right on if I had guessed I would not have guess right for you know that card playing was one of two things that you promised me you would never do. I do not remind you of this to reproach you Dearest but to show you that I had confidence in you and I still have confidence in you. I believe you are trying to do right. I know it is hard to do right where you are, but God is able to help you and he will do it if you ask Him in the right way. It would have been distressing to me to have heard that you was indulging in card playing. I think it almost an altogether as great a sin as the use of Ardent Sprits, but on that point you and I always differed and I must touch it lightly. I suppose that many indulge in such sins for the want of something else to do. It would be a fine thing if there could be good reading matter sent to all the camps it would employ there leisure hours and keep them out of mischief. I got Joshua to write to Graves to send you the Tennessee Baptist. It has all the war news in it and a great deal of other good reading. Joshua says he wishes you would renew your subscription. You will see on the paper when your time will be out. I would send you the Asheville News but it is only half a sheet now, hardly worth the trouble let me know when you get the paper. Let me know if you have got the clothes you wanted. I feel bad because I could not find [fin ?] them for you myself. I have knit you a great big comfort. It is as nice as if it had been made at the North. Just poke your head over and I will wrap it round your neck. But I guess you don’t need it bad to day. We don’t need a fire here. I never saw such a winter before. We have had no cold weather worth speaking of. I am afraid it will be sickly where you are if it stays so warm. I see in the papers that there has been a little fight near Port Royall . I was glad to see that Clingman’s Reg was not engaged. I always look for that I shall be glad if you get off without fighting if it could be possible, unless you could fight without being hurt yourselves. May be the warm weather will kill all the Yankees at the South. It is said there is 20,000 of them sick at Louisville, Kentucky. We have got a letter from Jo [?] since he returned to camp. His health is still bad. The Reg are nearly all sick. They are stationed on the Rail Road to guard it from Greenville to Chattanooga if you want to write to him you can direct to Strawberry Plains Tennessee, care of 29th Reg N.C. Volunteers, care Of Captain J. H. [?] Roberson [?] . I know he would be glad to hear from you. I got a letter from Sallie last week. She asked me to tell you that if you needed anything that they could help you to if you would let them know. They would be glad to help you. She says paper is getting so scarce there. She can’t write much. Have you got enough to do you must [?] keep enough to write to me on. I have got a pretty good supply laid by. I think you must have missed getting a letter that I wrote about the time I thought you was coming home. I mentioned something that I wanted you to bring me in it. You missed the best letter that I ever wrote you when you left Wilmington. I have not told You any thing about your boy yet. He is well to day but he has a good many little sick spells lately. I think it is caused by his teeth. He is getting very strong. He can almost stand on his feet. He is a powerful boy. I have improved a good deal the last week. I have laid away my crutches and walk with a walking stick all about the house. I know you will be glad of this. I wish I could get your buggy as I could ride about some. Father could let me have his old mare now that his buggy is broke and he has not time to mend it now. Mr. Porter was here last week. He wanted me to promise that I would go and spend part of my time with him. I would like to do so very much if I had any way to get there. I want to go to see Ruth and stay a while with her and Mary, but I hate to ask for the buggy again. It is very lonely to be confined at one place so long. Mattie and help her knit you a pair of socks if you need them. I will try to send them to you have you given out all hope of getting to come home. I do want to see you so bad but it best perhaps for you not to come till you can stay for it would be so hard for you to leave your little boy and Wife again [page one, above the salutation] I would be glad you could send me some postage stamp There is none at Asheville. It is so hard to get change Osborne Civil War letters Annotated versions prepared by George Frizzell
Object
  • In this letter of January 12, 1862, Kezia Stradley Osborne reflects on life to date and reports news from home to her husband Roland C. Osborne.
  • January 12, 1862 Beaverdam January 12th 1862 My Dear Husband If you will stop over today I will give you a good dinner as this is my birthday. I am 24 years old today. I don’t feel that old though I have been a widow for the past six months and sick one half the time and a cripple the other half besides missing this great big boy lying here in the cradle. Well – doubtless the largest half of my life is gone. I have no idea of living 24 years longer and what have I done! How much better is the world for my having lived in it for 24 years, very little if any. Perhaps one pathway has been brighter for my having walked a little way in it. Perhaps one heart is glad this morning that I have lived as long and have done. If so I have not lived entirely in vain, though I have often thought that I was a great deal more trouble to my friends than advantage to them yet I know they have assisted me cheerfully and this morning I am thankful that I have so many friends and I am right glad that I have a kind husband and a sweet little boy and that I am still able to do something for them. And oh how thankful I shall be that I have a Friend that sticketh closer than a Brother; One who has watched over me all my life and what has been with all my weakness and sin; and who has blessed me this morning again with every blessing that I need. Yet What have I done for him who died To save my soul from Death Nothing at all on the contrary I have received his spirit in ten thousand instances and if ever I am saved it will be by grace alone not for anything that I have done My Dear your letter of the 29th instant has reached me at last. You said you only started to write a page or two and I believe you wrote the best letter you ever did write. I must compliment you upon the improvement you have made in writing. I never saw any one improve so fast I am getting almost ashamed to send you my scribbling. I have written every letter that I ever have sent you on my lap while rocking the cradle and you know that is a poor way to write. However I am willing for you to beat me if you will only write often enough. I do love to read your kind loving letters. You stated that you had been doing something that you knew would grieve me and asked me to guess before I read what it was. But my curiosity was so great to see what it was that I could not wait to guess but read right on if I had guessed I would not have guess right for you know that card playing was one of two things that you promised me you would never do. I do not remind you of this to reproach you Dearest but to show you that I had confidence in you and I still have confidence in you. I believe you are trying to do right. I know it is hard to do right where you are, but God is able to help you and he will do it if you ask Him in the right way. It would have been distressing to me to have heard that you was indulging in card playing. I think it almost an altogether as great a sin as the use of Ardent Sprits, but on that point you and I always differed and I must touch it lightly. I suppose that many indulge in such sins for the want of something else to do. It would be a fine thing if there could be good reading matter sent to all the camps it would employ there leisure hours and keep them out of mischief. I got Joshua to write to Graves to send you the Tennessee Baptist. It has all the war news in it and a great deal of other good reading. Joshua says he wishes you would renew your subscription. You will see on the paper when your time will be out. I would send you the Asheville News but it is only half a sheet now, hardly worth the trouble let me know when you get the paper. Let me know if you have got the clothes you wanted. I feel bad because I could not find [fin ?] them for you myself. I have knit you a great big comfort. It is as nice as if it had been made at the North. Just poke your head over and I will wrap it round your neck. But I guess you don’t need it bad to day. We don’t need a fire here. I never saw such a winter before. We have had no cold weather worth speaking of. I am afraid it will be sickly where you are if it stays so warm. I see in the papers that there has been a little fight near Port Royall . I was glad to see that Clingman’s Reg was not engaged. I always look for that I shall be glad if you get off without fighting if it could be possible, unless you could fight without being hurt yourselves. May be the warm weather will kill all the Yankees at the South. It is said there is 20,000 of them sick at Louisville, Kentucky. We have got a letter from Jo [?] since he returned to camp. His health is still bad. The Reg are nearly all sick. They are stationed on the Rail Road to guard it from Greenville to Chattanooga if you want to write to him you can direct to Strawberry Plains Tennessee, care of 29th Reg N.C. Volunteers, care Of Captain J. H. [?] Roberson [?] . I know he would be glad to hear from you. I got a letter from Sallie last week. She asked me to tell you that if you needed anything that they could help you to if you would let them know. They would be glad to help you. She says paper is getting so scarce there. She can’t write much. Have you got enough to do you must [?] keep enough to write to me on. I have got a pretty good supply laid by. I think you must have missed getting a letter that I wrote about the time I thought you was coming home. I mentioned something that I wanted you to bring me in it. You missed the best letter that I ever wrote you when you left Wilmington. I have not told You any thing about your boy yet. He is well to day but he has a good many little sick spells lately. I think it is caused by his teeth. He is getting very strong. He can almost stand on his feet. He is a powerful boy. I have improved a good deal the last week. I have laid away my crutches and walk with a walking stick all about the house. I know you will be glad of this. I wish I could get your buggy as I could ride about some. Father could let me have his old mare now that his buggy is broke and he has not time to mend it now. Mr. Porter was here last week. He wanted me to promise that I would go and spend part of my time with him. I would like to do so very much if I had any way to get there. I want to go to see Ruth and stay a while with her and Mary, but I hate to ask for the buggy again. It is very lonely to be confined at one place so long. Mattie and help her knit you a pair of socks if you need them. I will try to send them to you have you given out all hope of getting to come home. I do want to see you so bad but it best perhaps for you not to come till you can stay for it would be so hard for you to leave your little boy and Wife again [page one, above the salutation] I would be glad you could send me some postage stamp There is none at Asheville. It is so hard to get change Osborne Civil War letters Annotated versions prepared by George Frizzell