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David W. Siler to Mattie, May 5, 1862

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  • In a letter of May 5, 1862 D.W. Siler writes to Mattie expressing his thoughts and feelings for her in lengthy detail, describing his recent situation and how it pertains to her. He expresses desire to see her as soon as possible and reports recent personnel changes in his unit. He concludes with optimistic thoughts on his future.
  • David W. Siler to Mattie, May 5, 1862 Near Franklin May 5th / 62 My Dear Mat There was nothing said about writing when we parted but I am glad to know that the time of uncertainty has gone by and that I may now address you without doubt or hesitation. I view the circumstances that led to our acquaintance as being exceedingly fortunate for me. You can form no just idea as to the change that has come over me. It might seem strange to you were I to attempt to describe that change ____ to the time when I returned to your Fathers from West Tennessee I had for some time been trying to school my heart to what seemed to be its fate a life uncared for. It is not my habit to be mak- ing appeals for sympathy. I always deemed it more manly to conceal a feeling of sadness and drive it away. But there can be nothing wrong in my con- fessin to you now that for a while before we first met there seemed very little for me to live for. True little Roxie was here but the thought of her brought with it the recollection of many things for her to learn that I have no art to teach. Mine are the best of friends but all being occupied by mat- -ters of their own I often seemed friendless in the very midst of friends. I did not feel so on that night of my return from the west. When I had spoken of the effects of a little exposure in West Tennessee you did an act of kindness that you may have thought nothing of since. I shall never forget it. I had suspected it before but then I knew that you had full possession of my heart I saw Mr B and made an arrange- ment without having to spake to any one else. I think now that I shall go by way of Cleaveland taking the cars there. The road on the other rout being exceedingly bad. In every little arrangement it will be my pleasure to conform as nearly as possible to your wishes. And all pains will be taken to supply as far as I can the great loss you sustain in parting with friends. It is my wish that your friends should seem as near to you as they have ever been. While it will be my greatest happyness should I be found worthy the place of your nearest friend. – You were very much mistaken if you thought I was provoked when you made a suggestion the other evening about a little matter of arrangement. No no. If I were to ever differ with you in opinion about any thing and after thinking the matter over should still differ I should tell you so frankly. But when you made that suggestion I began to think and very soon came to the conclusion that you were right. Indeed what I said at first was more to get your views than from any settled notion of my own very little thought brought me to agree with you fully. It is true Mat I was then led off into a train of thought and was regretting some things for which you are not to blame when you charged me with taking a place on the fence. What I was regretting is that too much of the little energy that I have used in life was given to the public. Travelling and politics required time and means that ought to have been applied differently. I renewed that train of thought after retiring that night and it was long before sleep came to dispel it. When I told you that the next few years of my life should it be prolonged would be a time of trial and you yielded to my strong desire to have you with me you seemed more than ever endeared to me. Although matters are not as I desire them at present with the blessings of providence and a proper use of time I look confidently to the future. My thoughts were turned to the law at a time when I desired something in which I could forget every thing else. Having undertaken it though under some disadvantages nothing short of Providential interference shall prevent me from giving it sufficient time and attention to test my powers of success. Pardon this digression. I Am writing my thoughts as they succeed each other without much regularity. Just as I hope to talk to you many a long hour. While I have the most profound respect for you there is with it an assurance that you will over look little errors. Allow me before closing to thank you in all sincerity for your well timed enquiry about little Roxie. It let to a conversation that was to me exceedingly pleasant. It seemed the first time to me that any-one had entered into my feelings. Capt Crawfords Company goes to day by way of sweet water to Knoxville. A vacancy occured and my brother Rufus was elected Lieutenant without opposition. You had the kindness to enquire whether he would meet me at Philadelphia on the 4th. If the Regiment remains at Knoxville till that time he will probably do so Let me put you a little on your guard. he is much younger than me and some people are silly enough to think him better looking. Dont you fall into that belief. I am sending him and Lieutenant Smith of the same company as a present to two young ladies in Madisonville. I have written a much longer letter than is usual with me. You may be assured that a reply would be read with the very greatest interest But it is so uncertain a matter on account of irregularity in post office affairs these time that I shall not allow my self to be disappointed should none come before I start. At least I shall not attribute it to your failure. Hoping to see you soon for the present Adieu My Dear Mat D.W. Siler
Object
  • In a letter of May 5, 1862 D.W. Siler writes to Mattie expressing his thoughts and feelings for her in lengthy detail, describing his recent situation and how it pertains to her. He expresses desire to see her as soon as possible and reports recent personnel changes in his unit. He concludes with optimistic thoughts on his future.
  • David W. Siler to Mattie, May 5, 1862 Near Franklin May 5th / 62 My Dear Mat There was nothing said about writing when we parted but I am glad to know that the time of uncertainty has gone by and that I may now address you without doubt or hesitation. I view the circumstances that led to our acquaintance as being exceedingly fortunate for me. You can form no just idea as to the change that has come over me. It might seem strange to you were I to attempt to describe that change ____ to the time when I returned to your Fathers from West Tennessee I had for some time been trying to school my heart to what seemed to be its fate a life uncared for. It is not my habit to be mak- ing appeals for sympathy. I always deemed it more manly to conceal a feeling of sadness and drive it away. But there can be nothing wrong in my con- fessin to you now that for a while before we first met there seemed very little for me to live for. True little Roxie was here but the thought of her brought with it the recollection of many things for her to learn that I have no art to teach. Mine are the best of friends but all being occupied by mat- -ters of their own I often seemed friendless in the very midst of friends. I did not feel so on that night of my return from the west. When I had spoken of the effects of a little exposure in West Tennessee you did an act of kindness that you may have thought nothing of since. I shall never forget it. I had suspected it before but then I knew that you had full possession of my heart I saw Mr B and made an arrange- ment without having to spake to any one else. I think now that I shall go by way of Cleaveland taking the cars there. The road on the other rout being exceedingly bad. In every little arrangement it will be my pleasure to conform as nearly as possible to your wishes. And all pains will be taken to supply as far as I can the great loss you sustain in parting with friends. It is my wish that your friends should seem as near to you as they have ever been. While it will be my greatest happyness should I be found worthy the place of your nearest friend. – You were very much mistaken if you thought I was provoked when you made a suggestion the other evening about a little matter of arrangement. No no. If I were to ever differ with you in opinion about any thing and after thinking the matter over should still differ I should tell you so frankly. But when you made that suggestion I began to think and very soon came to the conclusion that you were right. Indeed what I said at first was more to get your views than from any settled notion of my own very little thought brought me to agree with you fully. It is true Mat I was then led off into a train of thought and was regretting some things for which you are not to blame when you charged me with taking a place on the fence. What I was regretting is that too much of the little energy that I have used in life was given to the public. Travelling and politics required time and means that ought to have been applied differently. I renewed that train of thought after retiring that night and it was long before sleep came to dispel it. When I told you that the next few years of my life should it be prolonged would be a time of trial and you yielded to my strong desire to have you with me you seemed more than ever endeared to me. Although matters are not as I desire them at present with the blessings of providence and a proper use of time I look confidently to the future. My thoughts were turned to the law at a time when I desired something in which I could forget every thing else. Having undertaken it though under some disadvantages nothing short of Providential interference shall prevent me from giving it sufficient time and attention to test my powers of success. Pardon this digression. I Am writing my thoughts as they succeed each other without much regularity. Just as I hope to talk to you many a long hour. While I have the most profound respect for you there is with it an assurance that you will over look little errors. Allow me before closing to thank you in all sincerity for your well timed enquiry about little Roxie. It let to a conversation that was to me exceedingly pleasant. It seemed the first time to me that any-one had entered into my feelings. Capt Crawfords Company goes to day by way of sweet water to Knoxville. A vacancy occured and my brother Rufus was elected Lieutenant without opposition. You had the kindness to enquire whether he would meet me at Philadelphia on the 4th. If the Regiment remains at Knoxville till that time he will probably do so Let me put you a little on your guard. he is much younger than me and some people are silly enough to think him better looking. Dont you fall into that belief. I am sending him and Lieutenant Smith of the same company as a present to two young ladies in Madisonville. I have written a much longer letter than is usual with me. You may be assured that a reply would be read with the very greatest interest But it is so uncertain a matter on account of irregularity in post office affairs these time that I shall not allow my self to be disappointed should none come before I start. At least I shall not attribute it to your failure. Hoping to see you soon for the present Adieu My Dear Mat D.W. Siler